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#81586 - 11/09/05 05:42 AM To A Little Boy
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
To A Little Boy

Sorry this note reaches you late
But better late than never.

I forgive you.

I forgive you for the things you did;
You’re not the one who did anything wrong.

I forgive you for not saying “no”;
You were unaware you had that right.

I forgive you for not seeing the truth of what went on;
You couldn’t have understood it.

I forgive you for “liking it”;
It only proves you really were normal.

I forgive you for asking them to keep it a secret;
You had no way of knowing they were the only ones with a secret to keep.

I forgive you for thinking you missed it after you left;
They forced you to feel that way.

I forgive you for not telling anyone;
The burden was already too big for your shoulders.

I forgive you for hating the person you were;
Your yardstick wasn’t as accurate as you thought.

I forgive you for not forgiving yourself;
You had no idea that such was your place.

I forgive you for the guilt, shame, and anger you’ve held for so long;
There was no other way you could’ve felt.

I forgive you for taking so long to write this note;
Better late than never.

I forgive you.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#81587 - 11/09/05 10:52 AM Re: To A Little Boy
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Josh,

This is such a moving poem and says so much, just as it is. Here's another perspective. Try the same poem, but everywhere you say "I forgive you for", replace that with "I love you and I understand why you...." What do you think?

Your first point is the most important one: Little Josh did nothing wrong.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#81588 - 11/09/05 03:30 PM Re: To A Little Boy
Rivers Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 67
Loc: PA -USA
wow, Josh, for your age you are very insightful. I'm forty two and still not sure if I have forgiven myself for everything yet... That is very helpful.
Riv

_________________________
The sum of a man's life is... His ability and capasity to love and value others.

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#81589 - 11/09/05 06:56 PM Re: To A Little Boy
The Seeker Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 141
Loc: Ohio, USA
Good job!

_________________________
The answers are in me.

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#81590 - 11/09/05 08:36 PM Re: To A Little Boy
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11088
Loc: Denver, CO
This why I like reading other folks' posts: I learn from them.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#81591 - 11/09/05 09:49 PM Re: To A Little Boy
Sinking Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 577
Loc: Took my ball and went home.
Josh - I hope you find some deserved relief from writing this. The real irony is....you never did anything that needed forgiving anyway. - John


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#81592 - 11/10/05 02:31 AM Re: To A Little Boy
Up2NoGood762 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 4
O.
My.
God.

My life in a box. Thank you. You are a beautiful poet...PLEASE keep writing


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#81593 - 11/10/05 02:54 AM Re: To A Little Boy
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Josh,

I go along with what they said.

Thanks,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#81594 - 11/10/05 04:39 AM Re: To A Little Boy
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Thanks Josh. I too forgive my self, (Most of the time), then I have to remember to do it again

Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#81595 - 11/10/05 04:51 AM Re: To A Little Boy
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Quote:
Originally posted by roadrunner:
Try the same poem, but everywhere you say "I forgive you for", replace that with "I love you and I understand why you...." What do you think?
I think it is a very good idea, for a mental exercise. Unfortunately, I can't actually change the poem as it's written - I'm sticky like that - but I do like the suggestion.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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