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#81521 - 08/08/03 05:00 PM Just Now
Redsongbird Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/01
Posts: 209
Just now at this one moment I would like to feel like a man.

Others ask and walk about as they can.

Me. no, I am not one of them.

Why? because I was tossed about as a piece of trash. From one to another to complete their wholeness.

Just now I would like to feel normal. But what is normal? I mock normal. I pretend normal but inside I'm empty.

Just now, I think what am I even trying to say? See nothing comes out right in me....nothing seems to stay.

Tobey

Just


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#81522 - 08/08/03 05:49 PM Re: Just Now
Green Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/03
Posts: 115
Loc: NYC, NY
Thanks Tobey! I find your poem very helpful and clearly written. I am going to keep a copy of it.

Green


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#81523 - 08/08/03 08:26 PM Re: Just Now
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Tobey,

My sentiments exactly.

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#81524 - 08/08/03 09:30 PM Re: Just Now
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Tobey,

When I first saw this it took me a while to figure out what I was seeing of myself. I think I have it now.

Sometime recently I posted a casual reference to myself as a man here somewhere. When I saw my post, it occurred to me that I had never before referred to myself as a "man" so casually like that. It was always a deliberate thing, and I felt like I was fraudulently claiming that title. I read recovery books that say, "How do you define yourself as a man?" or "What does being a man mean to you?" and I realize that they're not applicable.

Until just now.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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