Newest Members
RepressedMem, jet_step, JimHouston42, GKB, MorganWut
12468 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
kinghenri (26)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 13 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12468 Members
74 Forums
64031 Topics
446842 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#81463 - 07/27/03 01:31 PM Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
I don't know why I'm posting in here. I came up with this just this morning. Well, some phrases were running through my mind for awhile, and a couple made it to paper before, but... Never mind, here goes nothin'.


A Magical Moment (Transformation)

Snowflakes, dancing, glistening
in streetlights' harsh glare
drifting to the earth
in silence.

Shelter in a small apartment
bare bulb's incandescent glare
floods a horror birthing
in silence.

Snowflakes mixing with filth,
banked high in icy piles
answer the howling wind
with silence.

Shattered boy, dripping shame
empty eyes in a frozen stare
answers the howling mind
with silence.

PS July 31 2003 - My wife mentioned that this might be a trigger, so I added the warning. Sorry it wasn't there before.

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

Top
#81464 - 08/01/03 01:13 AM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Cement Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
very nice...

I really like your use of images to evoke emotions...

_________________________
And let the darkness fear our light.

Top
#81465 - 08/02/03 03:23 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Freedom Offline
Member

Registered: 09/21/02
Posts: 164
Loc: US
Joe,

Thank you. I have seen that stare and the frozen look. I have often wondered how to respond to that. Thank you for sharing.

Freedom

_________________________
Life is moving on. AM I?

Top
#81466 - 08/02/03 04:08 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
beautiful imagery...for a terrible event

I could see a virgin white snow flake floating down, carefree. I could see it becoming all dirty and being left to wither on a chunk of ice. I was that snowflake.

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

Top
#81467 - 08/03/03 12:13 AM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
It is very well stated, there is so many parts of me all in termoil, yet you described me so simply.

Thank you for giving me some insite to the past.
I need it to mend today. Thanks Bill, every thing
helps at this point. I need the support now.

Glad you are there.

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
#81468 - 08/03/03 09:06 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Joe, Michael J.,

Good jobs, you guys. You guys write differently but you each capture such vivid stuff for me.
The hard, raw of your work, M. J., and the imagery of yours Joe, gosh I wish that I could do poetry like you guys.
I tried here several nights ago, after some rum and coke, and thought that I had written the next Pulizer--do they even give Pulizers for poetry? Anyway, I became self conscious and erased the whole thing--it was really dark, I frightened myself.
Good work, guys, keep it coming.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

Top
#81469 - 08/06/03 09:29 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
jimrh Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/22/03
Posts: 273
Loc: Roswell, GA
I would like to add one verse:

Snowflakes, shattered boy, lying shame
both glisten: snow from streetlight, boy from pain

He cowers and hides, praying for God
to let him fly like the white snow butterflies.

Soon enough, his wish comes true.
He stands there and becomes one - with snow

Melting now, he finds the end. No longer alone,
no longer in pain.


Top
#81470 - 08/06/03 10:37 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
It was strange reading the additional verse after seeing one of Woz's last posts. How fitting.

He no longer has any pain.

I will mis Woz

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
#81471 - 08/07/03 10:07 AM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Wow, Jim, you're good.

My original was merely a narrative, spelling out my memory of that first night, how I changed just as the snow did.

In your words I see hope, as my melting will lead me from the frozen emotional state, and I have found coming here that I am not alone. The pain will fade.

I think what you've written can apply to much more than one man's memory of one horrid night.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

Top
#81472 - 08/07/03 11:10 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
martin Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 229
Loc: The Good Earth
Joe,,

You're really good at this, your vision is so clear. I can see it. See you.

Thanks,

Aaron

_________________________
Its times like these we learn to live again,
Its times like these we give & give again,
Its times like these we learn to love again,
Its times like these time & time again.
-The Foo Fighters

Top
#81473 - 11/09/03 04:15 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Thomas Offline
Member

Registered: 07/31/03
Posts: 109
Loc: boise
I followed the link from the post about words. My God! I must have read this poem a dozen times and I still cry. I find myself in a very strange place when I read it. I am two people; I am the little boy. You don't say how old the boy is; it's easy for me to see myself at the age of two when the rapes began. I am also an observer looking into the apartment from the snow outside. This observer is not raging or vowing vengeance. The observer has great compassion for the little boy and wants to protect him and hold him close. Strange. Take it for what it's worth.

Words do indeed have a deep and primal power. Thank you for writing and posting it.

Tom

_________________________
To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to have kept your soul alive. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Top
#81474 - 11/13/03 09:53 AM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Tom,

I hope that the tears were helpful to you. I know it seems that they would be worse than the abuse itself, at least to me.

I don't feel emotionally invested in this. It's a simple de>
_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

Top
#81475 - 11/13/03 06:36 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Joe,

God, there are no words.

Nothing I can say.

Keep writing.

Peace and love, brother.

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

Top
#81476 - 11/14/03 11:54 AM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Brayton Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
A very, very good poem. I touches me deeply. Thanks.

Brett

_________________________
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

Top
#81477 - 01/21/04 07:00 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
As I am sitting here looking out the window watching the snowflakes fall, this poem comes back to me.

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

Top
#81478 - 01/25/04 11:30 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
It's coming back to me now, too.

I wish it wouldn't.

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

Top
#81479 - 04/27/04 09:17 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Sorry Joe,

Last night I was sitting looking out the window watching the snow fall in the street lights. This poem came to mind, I almost pulled it up top, but cancelled before did. Then when I woke up this morning and looked out the window and watched the snow fall some more. I also on the verge of hitting the Add Reply button, but descided I should just go out and brush the snow off the van, so I could to work. All day long as the snow was falling, watching the flakes drift on down, I kept thinking of this poem. All those snowflakes drifting. This gives me a new look a those delicate crystals of ice - all so different, but somehow the same.

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

Top
#81480 - 04/28/04 09:23 AM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Bill,

I'm glad it does something for you. I still think of it from time to time, too. Someday soon I hope to be writing about better memories, at least for myself if not up here. Just need to train my mind to think differently, I guess.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.