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#81463 - 07/27/03 01:31 PM Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
I don't know why I'm posting in here. I came up with this just this morning. Well, some phrases were running through my mind for awhile, and a couple made it to paper before, but... Never mind, here goes nothin'.


A Magical Moment (Transformation)

Snowflakes, dancing, glistening
in streetlights' harsh glare
drifting to the earth
in silence.

Shelter in a small apartment
bare bulb's incandescent glare
floods a horror birthing
in silence.

Snowflakes mixing with filth,
banked high in icy piles
answer the howling wind
with silence.

Shattered boy, dripping shame
empty eyes in a frozen stare
answers the howling mind
with silence.

PS July 31 2003 - My wife mentioned that this might be a trigger, so I added the warning. Sorry it wasn't there before.

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#81464 - 08/01/03 01:13 AM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Cement Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
very nice...

I really like your use of images to evoke emotions...

_________________________
And let the darkness fear our light.

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#81465 - 08/02/03 03:23 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Freedom Offline
Member

Registered: 09/21/02
Posts: 164
Loc: US
Joe,

Thank you. I have seen that stare and the frozen look. I have often wondered how to respond to that. Thank you for sharing.

Freedom

_________________________
Life is moving on. AM I?

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#81466 - 08/02/03 04:08 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
beautiful imagery...for a terrible event

I could see a virgin white snow flake floating down, carefree. I could see it becoming all dirty and being left to wither on a chunk of ice. I was that snowflake.

Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#81467 - 08/03/03 12:13 AM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
It is very well stated, there is so many parts of me all in termoil, yet you described me so simply.

Thank you for giving me some insite to the past.
I need it to mend today. Thanks Bill, every thing
helps at this point. I need the support now.

Glad you are there.

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#81468 - 08/03/03 09:06 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Joe, Michael J.,

Good jobs, you guys. You guys write differently but you each capture such vivid stuff for me.
The hard, raw of your work, M. J., and the imagery of yours Joe, gosh I wish that I could do poetry like you guys.
I tried here several nights ago, after some rum and coke, and thought that I had written the next Pulizer--do they even give Pulizers for poetry? Anyway, I became self conscious and erased the whole thing--it was really dark, I frightened myself.
Good work, guys, keep it coming.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#81469 - 08/06/03 09:29 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
jimrh Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/22/03
Posts: 273
Loc: Roswell, GA
I would like to add one verse:

Snowflakes, shattered boy, lying shame
both glisten: snow from streetlight, boy from pain

He cowers and hides, praying for God
to let him fly like the white snow butterflies.

Soon enough, his wish comes true.
He stands there and becomes one - with snow

Melting now, he finds the end. No longer alone,
no longer in pain.


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#81470 - 08/06/03 10:37 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
It was strange reading the additional verse after seeing one of Woz's last posts. How fitting.

He no longer has any pain.

I will mis Woz

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#81471 - 08/07/03 10:07 AM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Wow, Jim, you're good.

My original was merely a narrative, spelling out my memory of that first night, how I changed just as the snow did.

In your words I see hope, as my melting will lead me from the frozen emotional state, and I have found coming here that I am not alone. The pain will fade.

I think what you've written can apply to much more than one man's memory of one horrid night.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#81472 - 08/07/03 11:10 PM Re: Possible trigger - Don't know why I'm doing this
martin Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 229
Loc: The Good Earth
Joe,,

You're really good at this, your vision is so clear. I can see it. See you.

Thanks,

Aaron

_________________________
Its times like these we learn to live again,
Its times like these we give & give again,
Its times like these we learn to love again,
Its times like these time & time again.
-The Foo Fighters

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