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#81270 - 04/04/03 11:06 PM TIME BOMB
Cement Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
Never beaten by parents dead to me
Not forced into battle so early that
synapses, burnt from overload fired
into separate beings

I only kick in my sleep
I have never flashed back,
except one time
And my stitches are well hidden.

inconsequential to most
I have my marks, behind my garments
Which, like a grenade
will take me out if improperly handled.

Do I need a more
colorful explosion?
Should the city go
up in flame?

Kenny ripped the paper off the package
And unwound the gray fuses,
intertwined like possibilities
lost, possibilities arriving.

Something just wasn’t right
Ignited from some secret source,
The possibilities evaporated in tiny white
showers of light but he held on, and

It blew his finger off,
I can still hear him laughing
right before the scream.

_________________________
And let the darkness fear our light.

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#81271 - 04/05/03 09:04 AM Re: TIME BOMB
guy43 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/17/02
Posts: 450
Loc: Minnesota
Cement,
If I were an English professor of poetry, I'd give you the highest marks possible for this provocative (a good thing) poem. It flows, the words are expertly crafted, they all fit together. Soooo many interpretations are possible. I could write my life history using this poem as an outline.

'tis deeply moving for me. a bowl of chocolate ice cream thanks to you sir.

jer


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#81272 - 04/06/03 04:21 AM Re: TIME BOMB
Cement Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/05/02
Posts: 740
Loc: Southern California
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH...I cannot say how much that means to me.

James

_________________________
And let the darkness fear our light.

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#441130 - 07/17/13 05:37 AM Re: TIME BOMB [Re: Cement]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3333
Loc: O Kanada
an essay on suppressed anger,
waiting for the right trigger... BOOM!

i also liked the way you switched from first person to third.
it was like shifting gears!

great work.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#441399 - 07/19/13 06:08 PM Re: TIME BOMB [Re: Cement]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3333
Loc: O Kanada
here is my own "time bomb" poem.

respectfully submitted for your scrutiny.

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...5609#Post435609
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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