You Bastard

Fucking touch me,
I dare you.
Fucking ruin my life,
You can only fucking try.

But I won't be ruined,
Just fucked up.
Fuck you for
Fucking up my life.

I wish your body could be
ripped apart by
wild fucking dogs.
Starting by ripping off
your fucking genitals.

I want your fucking
balls on a platter.
I want you to fucking die.

Take the pain you gave me,
and suck it down your throat.
You fucking Bastard.
Fucking leave my body alone.

By M. Joseph

Michael: I could not agree with you more!!!!

Thanks Mike for saying so

MJ:

Thanks for putting into powerful poetic words some
of my feelings about my parents who both incested me. If you want see my recent post in Male Survivors, "I'm Not a Bastard."

Thanks again. Awesome stuff.

Victor

I hate my father figure with a passion

I know the sort of anger I read in this poem. I have felt it many times myself, although when I get in that mood I usually have enough to go all the way around. I can hate him for a while, but then I have to hate my mother, my wife (ex?), my friends, my family... ever now and then I go to far and I start hating myself.

I am grateful that I don't have the bouts of anger too often because they are very intense and leave me feeling exhausted for quite a while. But when they come I don't resist them either. Letting that hate and anger come to the surface helps connect me with what is really going on inside.

I don't mean any of this in a fruitcake sort of way. Quite literally I got myself into a place where I could not get angry. I might get mad over something stupid, but no honest to god anger. But lately I have had days like this poem and I know that I *am* angry and that it is real.

Rambling again, so i stop.

30 years later since the father figure started to ply with me. There has been healing, but the damage was great. It is good to give voice to the pain. Anger is good!

mj

he hurt me to the core

you bastard what the fuck were you thinking

I made it out ok after almost 30 years of pain


if I could change one thing it would be this, I would growup on a deserted island where noone canhurt me

This one poem

expresses anger about the total amt of abuse I endured

I am glad it is printed for other survivors to see in a book

written by male survivors so they will understand better

what we men go through and that is is not ok for men or boys

to be hurt. We have no magic wands to make it go away, and we

are not thicker skinned than women to the point that we can get

over it quicker. No one should be hurt like this male or female.

seems there is a lot of anger we each have

I think I tapped into only part of mine

Michael,

I remember see this a long time ago, in the In Cabin Six collection I think. I hope recalling it since then helps you come to terms with what happened.

Much love,
Larry

yes it is in "IN Cabin Six" I wrote the Poem for the book.
It took 5 years for it to get published. The anger is not as strong.and I know one thing noone deserves to be hurt like this not one of us.

Thanks Larry

I was locked in a house for 10 months by someone who said they were my friend I was raped before I left 10 months to the day I moved in jan 15 is the day I moved in nov 15 I moved out

I am mad

being raped left me feeling like a dish rag
used

and I am shocked that my father took me that house
day after day
to be left in a dark room
and raped when my perps came in to rape me

shit - I was 2

Nathan

that is very sad Nathan

mj,

I so feel your anger and hatred and emotions.

Everytime I wake up from the nightmare of my perp. brother raping me I feel your words of just how much hate I have toward him. The nightmares don't go away. The feelings don't go away. The emotions don't go away. The past does not go away.

I have heard said that time heals all wounds. I don't think I will live that long. The wounds are so evident in my life. The healing has yet to begin.

Ken

well one of maybe two anger poems, this one is special

being in print whit 13 forms of the f word and I can fig our how to put at least 5 more f words in when my book is printed there is one f word I might add,

suck it down your fucking throat

anyone wants to add other places I will consider it.

Hi, michael.

Wow, you have done it again. But in a very different way ANGER.
But you might want to add Bitch to it too.

No, as was used in one of the above messages

TIME DOES NOT HEAL ALL WOUNDS.

I doubt if our terrable wounds will EVER heal.

Thanks again Michael, my brother/friend, Heal Well.

Pete (Irishmoose)

Healing comes to us in different ways for different reasons

at 47 I am better off than when I was 18 at least I would hope

I have learned somthing

my words exactly...thanks for sharing your words. nomansanisland

(((MJ)))

I have no doubt that you (and me) are better off now.

What does "better off" look like? For me, its not turning the anger inward anymore or believing the lies. Fuck the bastard indeed.


Jim

hi michael joseph,

Since there was a new answer I went back and read your poem...as the kids say nowadays...sweet!!!

thanks,

I will be reading some poems at a candle vigil for survivors
I may be the only adult male survivor present. This will be in Oct.

Sometimes there is so much anger you do not know what to think.

But anger is not the only emotion.

There is a balancing act with all of this.

Hope all of you are surviving.

MJ