You Bastard

Fucking touch me,
I dare you.
Fucking ruin my life,
You can only fucking try.

But I won't be ruined,
Just fucked up.
Fuck you for
Fucking up my life.

I wish your body could be
ripped apart by
wild fucking dogs.
Starting by ripping off
your fucking genitals.

I want your fucking
balls on a platter.
I want you to fucking die.

Take the pain you gave me,
and suck it down your throat.
You fucking Bastard.
Fucking leave my body alone.

By M. Joseph

Michael: I could not agree with you more!!!!

Thanks Mike for saying so

MJ:

Thanks for putting into powerful poetic words some
of my feelings about my parents who both incested me. If you want see my recent post in Male Survivors, "I'm Not a Bastard."

Thanks again. Awesome stuff.

Victor

I hate my father figure with a passion

I know the sort of anger I read in this poem. I have felt it many times myself, although when I get in that mood I usually have enough to go all the way around. I can hate him for a while, but then I have to hate my mother, my wife (ex?), my friends, my family... ever now and then I go to far and I start hating myself.

I am grateful that I don't have the bouts of anger too often because they are very intense and leave me feeling exhausted for quite a while. But when they come I don't resist them either. Letting that hate and anger come to the surface helps connect me with what is really going on inside.

I don't mean any of this in a fruitcake sort of way. Quite literally I got myself into a place where I could not get angry. I might get mad over something stupid, but no honest to god anger. But lately I have had days like this poem and I know that I *am* angry and that it is real.

Rambling again, so i stop.

30 years later since the father figure started to ply with me. There has been healing, but the damage was great. It is good to give voice to the pain. Anger is good!

mj

he hurt me to the core

you bastard what the fuck were you thinking

I made it out ok after almost 30 years of pain


if I could change one thing it would be this, I would growup on a deserted island where noone canhurt me

This one poem

expresses anger about the total amt of abuse I endured

I am glad it is printed for other survivors to see in a book

written by male survivors so they will understand better

what we men go through and that is is not ok for men or boys

to be hurt. We have no magic wands to make it go away, and we

are not thicker skinned than women to the point that we can get

over it quicker. No one should be hurt like this male or female.

seems there is a lot of anger we each have

I think I tapped into only part of mine