I was fucked up as a kid
My sanity was taken
To expect happiness
To me was forsaken

I thought I was doomed
To live through hell
But the bitch up above
Thought maybe I could make him laugh well

He gave me happiness
He showed me what love was
But any day now
He will take it from me
just because.......

I've done alot wrong
I deserve what I get
But my boys, my babies
Their innocent is intact, as of yet

This god is cruel
punishing me as a kid
I used to be innocent
Until they did what they did

Now I'm a sinner
And I really don't care
God can go fuck himself
I have my own cross to bear

He can send me to hell
He can take those I love
But someday he will see
He is a nothing, up above

For I now know what love is
I now have my sons
My wife is a blessing
From the asshole above

He can mess up my head
He can make me do wrong
But My boys and wife
Have never done wrong

They will go to heaven
While I'll go to hell
It doesn't matter to me
He doesn't know me very well

About me, I care nothing
My family is all
My boys are my world
And my wife is the star

Someday I'll die
And to hell I'll go
But my boys and wife
To heaven they'll go

What does it matter
What happens to me
As long as their happy
I'll always be free.

The only God I know is totally opposite of what you express here--the God I think I know loves you so much and despises the pain some of God's opther children have caused you.

If you do not go to heaven, I don't know who will. Your feelings of being betrayed are very awesome to me. I think I understand your feelings to a degree.

InjunE, you are a good man. Even the best of men do things that are wrong. But no one is beyond redemption--those who see themselves as great sinners are often the greatest holy people to me.

It is an honor to share your thoughts and pain--you have a terrific talent.

Bob