Understanding

What if I was never born
How would the world change
Very little would be different
My family might not be estranged

The truth could stay hidden
The others would never tell
They lack the conviction
To condemn someone to hell

My boys would have never been born
At least not with me as their father
Tammy would probably be happier
Maybe then even have a daughter

The people I've hurt in life
Would not have the pain I cause
They would have never had to suffer
Nor know how I caused their loss

My father wouldn't fear
That someday I would kill
And make those poeple that wronged me
For life, lose their will

The people I work with
Wouldn't have to try and compete
They could take their time about it
Not worry about the numbers they must meet

The Military wouldn't have had
A soldier they couldn't train
To waste all that money
On someone that was possibly insane

But if the truth never did come out
No one would ever know
Why my brother is a crackhead
and sister a lost soul
Why they suffer
Yet hold it in
It causes their soul
To erode from within
To feel for others
It's not easy to do
When you don't care
How others feel for you
To people like us
feelings means shit
When we make others feel pain
We actually enjoy it
It's not our fault
Something we did
Were just not right
Messed up as a kid

No one would understand

InjunE, if you want to read it here's a link to a poem I wrote which this one of yours kinda reminded me of:

http://www.malesurvivor.org/cgi-local/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=15;t=000090

Victor

InjunE,

You express yourself in a most powerful manner. I am glad you were born, sad that you had such awful things to experience, but happy not only that you have given life to your children, but you describe a pain that so many of us feel and can't express.

I truly hope that you know that your life has been a treasure and that it was right for you to be and to remain to be.

Read the poem Desiderata if you get the chance--you can find it through a search engine.

Bob