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#81131 - 03/07/03 02:52 AM A poem - Triggering
InjunE Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/01
Posts: 89
Loc: Ohio
I am a man, is what I am told
I'm their protector, have to be bold
I have to be brave, can never show fear
Must always show strength, never shed a tear

But inside I am weak, feels very empty
Even though love, I have plenty
I know what it is, but I try not to face it
The pain from my past, I must try and erase it

I must be a man, for my boys and my wife
I must suffer silently, quietly feel the strife
The pain is mine, and mine alone
I must push ahead, For my sins, I must atone

Someday i will die, and will burn in hell
But until then, I'll pretend all is well
I'll play with my boys, and be a good man
Be a good husband, to never have ran

I may succeed, I will fight and try
But I will always question why
A person like me, even has to wonder
How I tore the heavens asunder

I must have really made god mad
Or maybe I made him really sad
I guess I will always question why
I am a tortured soul from up high

He continues to hurt me, I think he enjoys it
The pain that I feel, He must like to torment
But he wants me to live, to stay on this earth
To continue to be tortured, just like from my birth

But I can't live forever, and someday will die
Maybe then, he will tell me why
He punished me so, and watched me suffer
But so I wouldn't commit suicide, he gave me a buffer
My boys and a wife, to keep me alive
He knew in them, I would thrive
I would love them, and always be there
To give them my all, for myself, not to care
He gave them to me, so the pain could go on
I would go on living, keep being a pawn

I will be a man, provide for my boys
Give them love, guidance, and alot of toys
For my wife, be faithful and true
Always let her know I love her, remember the "I Do"
And I'll suffer in silence, occassionally laugh
But the joy I show, could never equal the wrath
Of that ass in the sky, that feels I must pay
My innocence, respect and esteem, wither each day.

_________________________
Without my sons, I would not be here.

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#81132 - 03/12/03 09:29 PM Re: A poem - Triggering
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
InjunE, I want to honor and respect your pain. At the same time, I wonder if you might listen to a thought I need to write about. Have you ever thought that a god who would send suffering and pain, really truly will for people to suffer, is no god at all--such a "thing" is a monster, nothing more, nothing less.

You do at times write that this wretched creep has given you some wonderful blessings--your wife and sons. Does that appear contradictory to you? I know, you say he gave you those so you woulld suffer more and longer. But how could anyone, even a monster god do both the most wonderful of good and the most damnable harm?

When people believe in God, with a capital G they usually believe in a God who revealed himself/herself to be Love. For such a God there can never be that God would WILL evil and harm.

The god you write about is one awfully hateful god--I hope I never have anything to do with that god. And I wish you to be safe from this monster too.

Peace to you friend.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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