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#80846 - 09/30/02 05:34 PM A Shattered Life
Mark Crawford Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/30/02
Posts: 73
Loc: New Jersey
Just thoughyt I would post my own poem here. I certainly don't consider myself a poet but it does tell my story and I hope it conveys that healing and recovery are possible. Thanks...

A SHATTERED LIFE

Long ago during adolescent days
all you did was heap on praise

It was the world I thought of you
and my family as well, who knew?

You were a priest, holy indeed
I was just a child very much in need

You explained this is love and it's okay
until you realized I was pulling away

Your obsession with me, it really grew
as you tried to isolate me from everyone I knew

You took me on trips and gave me nice things
all others were jealous of our ring

You often said without me you could not exist
I was so very afraid of this

Your temper, manipulation and absolute control
I felt I was dying, I was loosing my soul

When things were wrong you were very mad
yet in the end I was always "the bad"

Sad, angry and powerless I became
I wasn't even sure if I was still sane

Should life go on, how can I know what is true?
It was the grace of GOD which saw me through

It was time to move on so I moved out
now it was my younger brother you were about

How could I tell them? What would I say?
after all it was my fault, that's usually the way

No I couldn't tell them I will not speak
or others will know that I am a freak

It was years of silence I had to endure
lest it bring my family shame for sure

I convinced myself I am fine, everything is okay
until memories came roaring back one day

Emotions ran wild, depression was great
yet is was him…him I could not hate

I felt I was in the ocean sinking beneath each wave
what can I do, how will I be saved

Each night I lay awake soaked with sweat in my bed
buried memories running like a freight train through my head

Now I knew it was time to work this pain through
but who will I speak to, what shall I do?

I must tell my wife, Oh what will she think?
will this be it, is our marriage at the brink?

Years of anger, pain and confusion I endured
I felt like this many years before

Yet it was not for naught, this mental reeling
in truth it was my body healing

Yes like a shattered mirror I once felt
many splinters and pieces beyond hope for health

Healing is possible now I know it is true
with the help of others you can heal too!

For sure I am not alone, a boy robbed of my youth
it was not my fault and that is the truth

So now I say it is time to shed this shame
and to you " Padre M" I return the blame!

by Mark Crawford


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#441023 - 07/16/13 05:32 AM Re: A Shattered Life [Re: Mark Crawford]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3351
Loc: O Kanada
put the shame and the blame where it belongs!

right on, brother survivor.

this poem p!ssed me off right through to the end.
then you ended it proper!

a real roller-coaster ride.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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