You may recall a movie from a few years back called, "War Games." The theme was the only way to win many wars is to not fight them. It was a bit trite, but it was very valid.
There are many wars that the only (only, only, only) way to win is not to fight.
My enemy used to stalk me at night, in waking, visual hallucination nightmares. Actually I had rationalized it (if you can call this rational) that the enemy was something external, like a demon or evil spirit sent to destroy me. For "protection" I began sleeping with a bayonet to keep me safe from the nightmares. (whoo-hoo, me so crazy
One night, during one of them, I got up, walked to mirror, and looked in it. There he was, he looked a lot like me, but had totally black eyes, just staring at me. I knew that look. It was the "Spirit of the Bayonet." To Kill. To Kill Without Regret. We both knew one day we would connect and settle this.
That was a few years before I de-comped and started on-line group stuff.
The last time I actually saw him was a couple of years ago, I was walking down a hall and glanced sideways and saw him again. His eyes were blue now, like mine, and he (me) was looking so very, very tired of the fight. It was a mirror again.
We eventually made peace, and it is a much happier, peaceful and quiet place inside.
Pretty glad I (we) chose peace instead of war. Maybe you would be, too.
Peace to you.