I don't do poetry. Never did. People not having lived thru "it" will view whatever we say as the mouthings of idiots. The words will not make sense to them. How can one express eloquently the results of violation-of-taboo? It is trying to make sense of an impossibility. To say that we have seen Santa Claus,the Tooth Fairy or Klatu,Commander of the Venusian Space fleet appear before us. Who would believ it? Who could identify with that?

Tinfoil,

You state something like you 'don't do poetry,' I think ..iridescence from Hell shows you do write poetry, whether you want to admit it or not.

"People not having lived thru "it" will view whatever we say as the mouthings of idiots."

You may be right, but then let me, personally, be viewed as an idiot whose ramblings are out there for others to read. I'd rather let the poetry be there so they can try to understand it if they want to, then hide it and not give them the opportunity.

I have already seen my poetry used to start building a bridge to a glimmer of understanding.

Our poetry speaks to one another and that is just as important as communicating to those who have not experienced "it." My victim/ survivor poems (except for My Parent's Pain and What Photos Reveal) have been used in a female survivors' group, a male survivors' group, and a group for spouses of sexual abuse survivors--the comments relayed through the therapist who shared it with the first and third told me that poetry can help with understanding.

I actually shared my poetry with my own male survivors group and found out my poetry speaks to each person differently. Exits and Discovery were related to directly by all in my group. Fragmented Memories was reinterpreted by each person who read it.

Most of my poems were on my homesite at Ancient Sites (when there was an Ancient Sites) and it led to many chat discussions and helped some members seek out their own experiences which they had denied previously. I know of many people who started on the path from vicim to survivor.

Eloquence is not my concern with my poetry. Although my poetry was written for me to express what I could not do orally, the process of writing the poetry both brings up the emotions anew and helps me to deal with them as well. I once said if any poem I wrote helped just one person to cope or to understand than it would be worth the pain of its production.

Will it communicate the totallity of our experiences?-No...I don't think any of us can convey to another the totality of one's own experience and how any major trauma/event has impacted each area of our lives. It can, however, help others to touch on some of the emotions we deal with...

Jim C.
aka Hisatsinom

P.S. In some ways your sentiment is reflected in another poem I worte called Poetry Undone

[ April 15, 2002: Message edited by: Jim C. ]

Hi Jim. There's a large segment of society that view poetic expression resultant from childhood sexual abuse as underwater basketweaving save-the-whales stuff. Truth is it can have value as a means to express that for which wordages are lacking. How to voice properly a violation of extreme societal taboo,especially from the victim's point of view that such engagement was the victim's fault? Which is often the case. General public view is that "Okay. So you were dorked as a child. Big fucking deal. Life's no rose garden. Everyone suffers trauma. It's part of growing up. Shut up,quit bitching,get off your ass and make something of your life. We're tired of hearing your pathetic gawdamn excuses". But the reality is'nt like that. Not at all. Truth is that the people who feel themselves superior to adult victims of childhood incest/sexual abuse could'nt have survived as long as we have. Someone ought to give us a pat on our backs. Because we've survived. We're still alive. That alone by itself is an immense victory.