Exits

Doors,
Windows,
Stairs leading up,
Stairs leading down,
and Holes in a wall--
Exits.

Need to have an escape plan.
Need to know the way out.
Need to know where the exits are--
Ever watchful.

But I don't escape,
don't Leave,
don't Exit--
I stay.

Closed in a claustrophobic room,
Windows boarded up,
Doors locked from the outside,
with no Stairs up or down,
and no Holes in the wall.

Afraid, but safe
in my claustrophobic room.
I live in the darkness
of this room in my mind.

There is no escape,
no way out,
no exit--
from Myself.

I have ears, but I do not hear.
I have eyes, but I do not see.
I have hands, but they do not touch.
I have a tongue, but I do not tell.
I have a mouth, but I do not eat.
I have a nose, but I do not breathe.
I have a heart, but it does not beat.
I have feelings, but, yet, I am numb.
I have everything and nothing at all.

There are ways to escape,
yet I am
here.

[ April 15, 2002: Message edited by: Jim C. ]

Thought my brothers from the NY NOMSV retreat, especially my own group members , might want to read some of my poetry...So I'm writing this reply to bring up the post for those who may want to read it.

Jim
Hisatsinom

This relates to my own sculpture guys, I think you will relate. Let's struggle to become the butterflies we were always meant to be...

Thanks Jim,

abuse

scattered my brain

the fragments remain

Haunting me

everyday I live

Love in what I need,

and only I can find

self-love, and friends

can help with their

support and kindness.

Love is what I am

missing, desperatly

trying to replace.

The love is inside

not outside.

Support me so I can

Love !

M. Joseph

I'm not a poet, but reading all the poetry here helped me put my experience in words I can relate to.


You put me down
on my knees.

From there I watched
life pass by.

An endless parade
of nameless crotches.

But now I’ve looked
you in the eye.

I'm not content
to be passed by.

Now I stand
in your face.

In spite of you
I found my place.



Thanks MJ for reaching out.
Devon

Thanks Devon and Jim for caring about me.

I wish I felt better today, maybe it is ok to be

down. I am grateful ful for all my friends here

the reteat was wonderful, I feel like a child.

Starting over once more, I am scared.

MJ and Devon,

Thank you for sharing. I am honored that this poem encourages more people than just me to look beyond the isolation. Devon, your poetry speaks deeply in few words. Brother MJ, in some ways, I too feel like a child again, it is not all bad, but not all good either.

Keep coming back here for support and reassurance.

Jim
Hisatsinom