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#80145 - 12/06/06 01:21 AM New Life
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
He runs from place to place
The child
Through my mind
Searching for safety
Searching for a place to hide
His world is never safe
Love is never steadfast in his eyes
Always liquid
Always changing
There one minute
And then gone
And so he clings to it with all his might
Clings to love when he finds love to cling to
For nothing means as much to him
Others starve for food
He starves for love
Clutching at it
Grabbing for it
No time now for manners
No time now to care who watches his desperation
It is love that he must have
Love that was never given
The man is old now
His heart is old
But his child will not
Cannot
Let him die until the need is filled
A place so empty for so long

How awful that he had to feel again
How awful that he once more had to know of love's existence
For now he remembers
Wanting
Needing
Begging
Hoping that his father would come in the night
He didn't care about the other things his father did
He needed love
Touch
To be held
No matter why

Just hold me....tight....so I won't be alone

And so he shut it down
His heart
Shut it off and slammed it away in anger
Determined not to feel again
Not to feel the need again
The horrible need for love......again.

And then it happened
Someone loved him
The old man understood the love
Accepted it
Was warmed and loved in return

But the child
All of those feelings
Almost too much
So good
So wonderful to love again
And yet to now remember when he knew
He understood
The awful memories of before
Worth it?
Worth the risk?

Worth the fear?

The old man knew the dangers
The child did not

The child would have his fill of love
These were things he thought he'd never feel
He would lie down and roll around in love
And laugh
And hug himself and feel....feel so warm

And hurt?
Pain?

This was a part of love he had not known
This connection with another
For as a child he only knew of selfish love
The love that takes
And now there was this feeling love
A love that gives
Loves in return
Loves in joy
And sometimes loves in agony

What a trick life had to play

But he would not go back
Not to the darkness
To the numb
For even in its agony
His soul was brought to life by love

And so he clutches
Tighter still
Never letting go

The old man sits alone and smiles
And no one knows that deep inside that wrinkled soul
A little child, clutching desperately to something he has never known,
At long last, feels love

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#80146 - 12/09/06 09:50 PM Re: New Life
Brian Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 05/03/01
Posts: 1563
Loc: Upstate NY
(((((Bobby)))))

_________________________
Recovery is Possible!

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