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#80108 - 11/25/06 07:06 PM Bam!
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Bam! It hits. Understanding.
Wow!
Lightning passing through your brain.
Whoosh!
Holy shit.
That's why.
That's why I do that.
That's why I have to do that.
That's why I can't quit.
Not about now.
About then
When he.....
When it felt.....
When the kid.......
And I thought I would die if he didn't stop.
The feeling....so intense
Too intense
Not pain
Well, yes, pain
But not
The testicles
Make him stop
Please make him stop
Please, please, please
And I was two
Maybe three
And I remember
Just a second of remembrance
Just an instant
But so intense
So frightening
What to do?
How to stop it?
Desperation.
Poor baby.
Poor, poor, baby.
So
Wow
Wow
Amazing
That's why
I know you'll understand
Forgiveness
I forgive me
Doesn't make it right
But, maybe if I understand
Maybe, if I know why.......
You know what I mean
Every time, scared to death
Every time, not knowing why
Doing it, needing to, out of control
Why? Why? Why?

Something inside of me just relaxed
Just calmed down
Just took the poor baby from his Daddy's arms
Exhausted, spent, so tired
So very, very tired
It's over now, baby
Rest now
Safe
Safe here in this daddy's arms
Now you know

Now we know

Now we know

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#80109 - 11/26/06 09:33 AM Re: Bam!
bc22 Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/06
Posts: 82
Loc: indiana
Awesome, Bobby! And in that instant, we know we can survive and life does go on. In that instant, we can become one again. The pain is there, but it is comforted by PEACE!!! Well said, my friend!
BC


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#80110 - 11/28/06 02:23 AM Re: Bam!
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Bobby,

Emotions I feel when I read this:

1. Joy because you have had a breakthrough.

2. Sorrow and all the tears that go with it because of the what the little baby had to endure.

3. Anger because of what was done to that innocent child.

I know that I'm being a bit analytical here but it is the onlly I could get it said. If the truth be known, the emotions I'm feeling have my gut tied up in knots so tight that it is hard for me to even function. Just know that this poem inspires me to continue to speak out against childhood sexual abuse.

Love ya
Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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