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#80043 - 11/07/06 07:16 PM I Am Alone (triggers)
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
I am alone
And when I am alone, the child cries out
To hear his echo in the halls
It won't be long
She'll be back soon
Mother
Wife
Keeper of the key to all things normal
She will not see the places that I go
Will not acknowledge they exist
And so the only place I am is here
And must take every opportuniity to be
Why is it that they will not see
Cannot see
Cannot understand the other world
Why can't they know
The people without scars
Why can't they feel it when they touch our hands
Then they would understand
Then we would not have to be the other us
To have been hit by a bus
How wonderful
See, this is where it broke my arm
And here, this gash
Isn't it awful
Yes, yes it hurts
It hurts like hell
No, no I'll get over it
But thanks for caring
No, no I can get there by myself
I'll heal in time
The doctor says a year or two
Well, I was hit by a bus you know
And they would see
And they would understand
And they would know that I should hurt
And say nice things behind my back
Look how he tries
He doesn't let it get him down
I bet that really hurts a lot
I simply can't imagine all the pain
So brave, so very brave
Perhaps, if I put bandages around my heart
Perhaps, if I wore pictures of the things he did
Perhaps if I had proof of other times
Different buses
Different kinds
Just as deadly
Just as unforgiving when they crashed into my life

It's boiling up again
Who knows why
Who knows why it stirs sometimes
Why the child becomes so restless
Why he looks to me for help
Starts to hurt again
To reach with pleading in his eyes

Do the memories come again, my child
Are they real again
Calm down

Would someone hold my hand a bit
Just hold it like you'd hold that of a little boy
Just let me know I'm not alone
I know
I know reality
But somehow there's another place
Another place in which I live
I'm young there and alone
And sometimes, when the scary moments come
If someone would just hold my hand........

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#80044 - 11/07/06 08:21 PM Re: I Am Alone (triggers)
john22 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/16/06
Posts: 191
Loc: Europe-Belgium
Bobby

All your poems are very disturbing, in a good way, because I understand what you write. Its always so obvious what you write. Its so simular to my memories. But the disturbing is good for me, I never want to forget what happened. Its just difficult to handle it, but I think it would be more explosive if it wasn't remembered and I wouldn't know where my fear or pain would come from. So thanks for all your writings there so helpful sometimes.

And thanks for replying on my little poem, its an old one but its appropiate here.

John


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#80045 - 11/07/06 08:24 PM Re: I Am Alone (triggers)
markgreyblue Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/03
Posts: 5400
Loc: Pasadena, CA
Bobby- I am holding your hand right now.

Can I share a secret- I get so scared too -

but - I will share a secret in a pm.

ttyl

Your MS brother,

Mark

_________________________
"...do not look outside yourself for the leader."
-wisdom of the hopi elders

"...the sign of a true leader is service..." - anonymous



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