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#79902 - 10/15/06 12:04 AM Hope
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Go
Take him to the window of the world
Make him see
Make him see the changing of the seasons
The flowers bloom, their petals in the sun
Make him feel....life
The breezes, cool on his naked skin
Make him be cold
And warm him by a fire
Let him feel the touch of soft, warm skin against his own
Let him feel love
Let a baby grip his finger with its tiny hand

Make him feel!

I can't stand to watch him stare blankly any more
Know he doesn't feel
Know that we are one and yet I can't get to him and let him know that emptiness need not be all he knows
There can be warmth in his heart
He doesn't have to stay in darkness, wondering only at the painful brightness of the light

You try
Please try
For every time I start to live
I see him there
Feel him there
Not sad, but barren
All alone
Not lost, no, never lost
Resigned
To sit in his darkness, waiting for the end

I have resigned myself to that, I think
On saner days
On days, when stark reality sets in
That he is injured much too deeply to become suddenly alive
That lack of love caused him to lose all hope of ever feeling anything again

And yet he's here
He's part of me
And I can laugh
And run through leaves
And smell a rose
And feel a lover's touch
How is that so?
How can a part of me be numb, and yet, another part know life
A sad life sometimes, to be sure, knowing that a silent child sits deep within my soul
Alone
Yet loved by me so deeply
As if not myself, but some sad child I know
A little boy
A child that I would save at any cost

Can you help me, please?
You have reached him once or twice.
I know he's felt your love
I know he has
For I have felt him startle at the feeling

Please don't give up
There's still a chance for him I think
Still a chance for him to feel
For us to share a piece of life
A love, perhaps
A chance that I could lead him from his awful place, at last
Into the brightness of the world.

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#79903 - 10/15/06 12:46 AM Re: Hope
Brokenhearted Offline
Member

Registered: 08/07/06
Posts: 644
Loc: TX
Bobby, you should publish your poems in a book about child abuse. Your poems make me understand my husband better...how sad he really is....how numb and to think he's lived this way for about 3 decades is too much. I don't know how he's done it at all.

_________________________
Brokenhearted

It were better for him that a millstone were hanged around his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones.
Luke 17:2

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#79904 - 10/21/06 07:43 PM Re: Hope
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Bobby,

Thanks for sharing this one. There is always still a chance, and he will feel if he comes to trust that doing that won't cause him new hurt. He just needs time.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#79905 - 10/21/06 10:50 PM Re: Hope
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Bobby,

Once again, you've expressed the essence of feeling held by the deeply wounded child within. You've spoken to the heart of so many of us. I can so identify with the things you say in this work. It's like you know where I've been, and you do I guess because you've spoken from your own experience.

You're a good man Bobby. You are doing a good thing whey you write these things. I agree with BrokenHearted. Your work needs to be published.

Pick out the best of them. This one being among them, and prepare them in a manu>
_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#79906 - 10/21/06 11:00 PM Re: Hope
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
BrokenHearted,

Quote:
Your poems make me understand my husband better...how sad he really is....how numb and to think he's lived this way for about 3 decades is too much. I don't know how he's done it at all.
He's a hero, you know. Your husband. His little guy is a hero simply for getting him this far. It's not an easy life dealing with this stuff. He needs to be able to connect with that inner child and learn to love him again.

Anyhow, just keep loving him.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#468769 - 08/10/14 09:50 PM Re: Hope [Re: Bobby]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3365
Loc: O Kanada
deep. a little scary to identify with such vulnerable feelings.

yet i can and do.
with help from you.

thanks for this.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#469643 - 09/03/14 08:51 PM Re: Hope [Re: Bobby]
randombreeze Offline


Registered: 02/03/14
Posts: 60
Loc: WNY
This is an incredible piece of prose...thanks for bumping it Victor
_________________________
"Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky"- Rabindranath Tagore

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#469666 - 09/04/14 03:55 AM Re: Hope [Re: Bobby]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3461
Loc: somewhere in Africa
WOW - i am in awe.
Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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