It's funny, don't you think?
I don't even know you,
And yet I need you to love me.

How can a person be so empty,
That everywhere he turns
He looks for love...so desperately
Looks for love.

And has to know that everybody loves him.
Everybody!
Not one can look away.
Not one can wear a frown.

For, if he does
He will become the object of such effort
Such work
Such planning
Just to see a smile.

Exhausting, is it not
To see in everyone
The potential to be cruel
To be a child...always
Trying to defuse the anger thrown at you.
Trying to make him smile instead of looking at you with those red and horrible eyes?

"Please love me," you must say
To people you don't even like.
"Please love me, for I must have love
To live.
Don't hurt me, not the way he did
Not the way they did
Not the way the world has
I cannot stand that hurt again
GOD, LOVE ME...SOMEONE...SOMEONE LOVE THE CHILD I AM!
the man i have become...please love me

God, I waste away here in my corner
Looking out at life
Afraid to be
To fucking be
GOD LET ME BE...JUST ONCE
just let me be myself and unafraid of who i am
and who they are
and how they all can hurt me
with a look
or with a laugh

Please hold me tight,
No, don't...don't touch me.
I can't bear the touch
I freeze at touch
Yet touch is what I need
To melt into another's arms relaxing as I do,
Without regard for what he thinks
Just let him keep me safe...please keep me safe
Please let me rest before they come again.

I have no soul
He took that with him, when he left
And left me here a sort of entity
But not
Not really
Not anything at all
Except a silly thing that looks like an adult
But functions as a child
And looks and looks for love
Which,when he finds it,
If he is to survive, must push that love
Must push that love......must push
that...love.........away

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.