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#79664 - 08/25/06 10:00 PM Monster in My Soul
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
There is a monster in my soul
A monster I can only feel
But, though I've never seen his face
I know his eyes and know he's real.

There is a monster in my soul
I feel his heavy presence there
And though he hides inside of me
I never can discern just where.

I know the monster in my soul
For I am his, from him I came
And though from him I needed love,
He gave me only hate and shame.

I've carried him within my soul
Not knowing of the burden there
Just knowing that the way seemed hard
And that my heart seemed full of care.

Beware, O monster of my soul
It's I who comes now after you
It's I who now would cast you out
It's I who'll know the things to do

To cast your evil from my soul
O monster of my mind so deep
For when I see your face at last
You'll have no secrets you can keep.

Closer, monster of my soul
Closer now to knowing who
Did the awful things to me.
Closer now to seeing you.

Closer to an open soul
Where shadows were, light shining free.
Closer to the life I seek
Closer now to loving me.

Soon, O monster of my soul
I'll see your face. I'll know your name.
At last will end the masquerade.
And you can bear, at last, the shame.

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#79665 - 09/02/06 07:19 AM Re: Monster in My Soul
InjunE Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/04/01
Posts: 89
Loc: Ohio
If you find a way to cast him out, please let me know. I've been looking for a long time, and have no idea. The things I do, I always regret, but I have this same monster inside of me, full of hate and rage. Thank you in advance, if you find a way, any way.

_________________________
Without my sons, I would not be here.

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#79666 - 09/02/06 03:19 PM Re: Monster in My Soul
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Bobby,

If I didn't know better, which I do, I would think you were my b/f. The pain and confusion you speak of, the anger, the hurt, the desire to feel the love around you are him to a T. The ability to write beautifully and express yourself so clearly is also an ability he has - one I envy.

We were speaking of this site the other nite and I spoke of you and I told him something wonderful about you. I told him that in the months, heck almost a year, that I've been coming here, I've watched you change. Your expressions are of pain, yes, of confusion, yes, but also of hope and determination and even more importantly, successes. It's something I didn't see in you almost a year ago but now it is there and it's a very special transformation to watch.

I hope you know what I see because it truly is beautiful.

Thank you Bobby.

ROCK ON....Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#79667 - 09/03/06 12:30 AM Re: Monster in My Soul
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Bobby,

Just wonderful, as usual. Your themes on knowing the enemy, seeing the face of evil, getting things into the light - man. Isn't that all EXACTLY what we have to do?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#79668 - 09/07/06 05:18 AM Re: Monster in My Soul
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Wow Bobby,

How beautiful! Your words fill me with hope! Thanks.

Love ya

Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#79669 - 09/29/06 05:20 AM Re: Monster in My Soul
newo Offline
Member

Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 55
Loc: CA, USA
Wow...wow...wow...
Loved the repetition and the beat in the poem!

We all direct our own horror movie...and are working on a happy ending where the monster lies dead at our feet...and we ride off into the sunset.

Thank you for helping me do some blood letting on that inner beast.

OKW

_________________________
Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much
"Religion is for those afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already lived through it."

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