As I trudge along this dark lonely road, I realised what I am missing now and have missed.
I'll never have what you have, I'll never be... I don't even want to try.
I am alone, standing in a crowded room, all by myself with hundreds of people.
I miss everything that I have and always do.

I wish beyond the stars and moon that everything will fall back into its original place soon because I know that I will be suffering again in no time... but as always in silence.

Though it may not be my fault, I guess it affects me the same as it does to you....

Perfect and happy and beautiful on the outside but
the embodiment of a warrior, gone with the sheer winds of terror,

For as good as this place is, it has left me... as I trudge along this long winding road, feeling alone while I seek for my real entity...
but I have lost it once again.
Leaving a trail of insanity in my mind
With the repercussions unfolding just right in front of my wretched soul chills are running down along my spine I feel so cold, yet I have to carry on.

Warm tears welling up at the rim of my eyes,
I fell down hard on my knees,
Head bowed, hands clasped together, Silently wishing that I’d dissapear, that no one ever knew me and and wondering, will I ever be fine again.

It pains me to see that you are hurting. I wish I can offer you solitary moments and that my bare hands could just take all the sorrows and pain that you are feeling right now. Or rather heave it and put it on my shoulders so that it won’t be a tad too heavy for you. I just fucking wish I could do something. I don’t want to see you in this condition. Believe me.

Jay,

As I said to you in another post, you have to do what seems best for you. YOU are in charge of your recovery, no one else.

That said, I just want to assure you that these overwhelming feelings you have will be familiar to so many other guys here. You aren't alone, and if you ever decide to come back I hope you understand that you would be most welcome and understood.

Much love,
Larry