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#79238 - 09/02/04 10:14 AM I'm afraid (STRONG TRIGGERS!)
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
I'm Afraid


I'm afraid.
Of you.
Of me, too.
I'm afraid of the dark.
Afraid of strangers.
Afraid of friends.
Afraid to be alone
Or with someone.
Fear is me and I am fear.
Everywhere a blade
Waits to cut.
A fist is there
To hit.
A voice to lie
Or remind me of how
Useless and worthless
I am.
I'm afraid of hands.
Because I've felt them
On me when I didn't want
Them, or where they shouldn't
Be.
I've had them hurt
Me, take away my power.
They've covered my mouth
So I screamed in silence.
I'm afraid of people touching
me, because I know they want
Something from me I don't
Want to give.
I'm afraid of the steps behind me.
I'm afraid of the door in front.
I don't want to see what's
Beyond it.
I smell of fear.
And I'm weak because of it.
I want to hide, but I know
They will find me.
I want to run, but I know
They will catch me.
I want to fight, but I know
They will hurt me.
But I take it, because
I can't be afraid anymore.
Yet I'm afraid always.


\:\(

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#79239 - 09/02/04 11:49 AM Re: I'm afraid (STRONG TRIGGERS!)
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Scot,

Did you ever connect the dots on this one...

I was struck how this matches your signature line!!

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#79240 - 09/02/04 10:12 PM Re: I'm afraid (STRONG TRIGGERS!)
John Ireland Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/02
Posts: 155
Loc: Chicago
Scot~~~May your Celtic first name give U powers to move forth!!! I am also a survivor in fear & really appreciate your words tonight as I battle on.... I feel your pain & again reminds me that unified voices of truth will help us face everflowing fears that invade our lives... I then think of the many whose fears drove them 6 feet under which leads me to write on to confront fears we share, my fellow bardic warrior Scot!! All my Williams-Ireland best, John \:\) \:\)

As Anais Nin relates, "The poet is the one who is able to keep fresh the vision of the child alive..."


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