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#79157 - 05/22/06 06:36 AM Help me, God
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
Help me, God,
Help me to make sense
Of something that makes no sense at all,
I'm small, and so afraid,
And no one but You can understand.

Hey God, do you know Jesus?
He has blonde hair and blue eyes,
I saw his picture in my little white Bible.
He said He loves me,
Do you think He really does?

Can you love me, God?
Can you love a boy like me?
Then find me a place to hide,
Hide me deep and far away,
Help me, God.

_________________________
Eddie

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#79158 - 05/22/06 08:22 AM Re: Help me, God
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Eddie,

Quote:
Can you love me, God?
Can you love a boy like me?
Then find me a place to hide,
Hide me deep and far away,
Help me, God.
God loves all of us; it's not a matter of whether he can love "a boy like me". And what kind of boy would that be? An innocent kid who should have been cherished and nurtured but wasn't.

You haven't done anything wrong or shameful either, so you don't need a place to hide. I hope you will stand up and be proud of the progress you are making and the wonderful things you have achieved in your life.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#79159 - 05/22/06 08:15 PM Re: Help me, God
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
We all love you, Eddie, and sometimes the world makes no sense at all no matter how hard we try to understand it. Those are the times we have to cling to our faith and cling to each other. If only all boys like you could know how much they are loved and by how many people and without question, maybe they would be able to look outside for help when bad things are happening to them, instead of hiding inside themselves because they don't know what else to do.

God loves you, Eddie. God especially loves little boys like you, because God knows how much you need His love. Many times, God sends his love through someone else who can see you and knows you and who can be there to help you. We all know you, and care about you, and really know how important our love can be to your healing.

Believe in God's love, Eddie, Don't try to make sense of what has happened to you. Some things just never ever make sense and we have to move on without ever really understanding why they happened or why someone would do such horrible things. And that picture you saw of Jesus was only one of many pictures you will see of Him. In time, you will understand that Jesus has many different faces, and all of them are loving faces and all of them want to protect you and to hide you "deep and far away" from the scary things like you have asked.

You're a good boy, Eddie. God created you that way, and no one can change that no matter what they try to do to you. Believe what I'm telling you, Eddie. No one can change the wonderful boy that God created you to be..no one.....not ever.

Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#79160 - 05/23/06 04:24 AM Re: Help me, God
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
Thank you, Larry and Bobby. I appreciate your words so much. They are words I really needed to hear. It helps me to write in the inner child voice at times, it's like releasing a lot of emotions and thoughts I never could do as a child. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but it's about the best way I can describe it. When I was reading back over this poem last night after I wrote it, I just sat there reading it over and over. I was crying, but I wasn't sobbing, shaking, or even really upset. I just had tears spilling over one by one while I read it over and over. I think it's about the calmest cry I've ever had.

_________________________
Eddie

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#79161 - 05/23/06 12:40 PM Re: Help me, God
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Eddie,

I hope you will just let the tears come when you feel they are there. You have a lot to grieve for and it's a good thing to acknowledge that fact.

It's important how you explained this: "a calm cry". That sounds like pure sadness and grief for Little Eddie, with no fear for the present or future. I hope this has helped you and thanks for sharing your feelings like this.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#79162 - 05/23/06 07:36 PM Re: Help me, God
newo Offline
Member

Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 55
Loc: CA, USA
Eddie.
Great poem. I find poetry helps me say what can't be said with words. \:\)

You are loved by God...and we often find ourselves living in the hiding place God has for us...and out in the exposed/vulnerable world.

Be safe.
Be well.

OKW

_________________________
Live Well, Laugh Often, Love Much
"Religion is for those afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already lived through it."

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#79163 - 05/27/06 03:38 AM Re: Help me, God
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Eddie,

Thanks for this poem. I have found that God can love me, so I am sure that he can love you too. Because you and me have a lot in common I think.

Love ya

Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#79164 - 05/28/06 03:39 AM Re: Help me, God
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16263
Eddie,

I'm not sure how I missed this one. You talked about rereading the poem as the tears spilled down your cheeks. They were spilling down mine too as I read. I can't tell you how many times I prayed that same prayer as a child and wondered if God could love a "boy like me". I now know he can and does.

Thank-you Eddie.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#79165 - 05/28/06 11:51 PM Re: Help me, God
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7819
Thank you for your understanding, guys. I come back here every now and then to reread this poem, and I think it's this line that always starts the tears for me:

Quote:

Can you love a boy like me?
As I've stated elsewhere on the board, we stopped going to church when I was 6, so my concept of what God, Jesus, and church were was so rudimentary throughout all my childhood and into young adulthood. To say my religious instruction was scant is an understatement. This line quoted above illustrates that for me, since I often wondered if God hated me, and if there was some kind of God-clique, so to speak - I knew some of my friends when to church, so I figured God loved them. But then there was me - the heathen boy.

A friend of mine that lived up the street took me to church with him and his family a few times when I was like 8 or 9. He would call me early Sunday mornings and ask me if I wanted to go with them, and I would go ask my mom and dad who were still in bed. A few times they said yes, but most times it was no, and my friend eventually didn't call any more. As a side note, it was one of those times when I went into their bedroom one Sunday morning to ask and I interrupted them "in the act". I didn't know what it was since I was so young, but years later I figured it out.

So, I struggled with this concept of God back then, wondering whether He could love a boy like me since I didn't fit into what I felt God wanted in me - I think I came to that conclusion because of the messages I was getting from my earthly father. And then, of course, there were the bad decisions I made later in early teenhood that compounded upon that to make me feel there was no way I could be in that God-clique. I think it's all inter-related.

_________________________
Eddie

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#79166 - 05/29/06 07:55 PM Re: Help me, God
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Eddie, God works in mysterious ways, the poem is beautiful a rendition of what a little boy would ask.

I think he has a special place in Heaven for all hurt kids to go to.

Think of the ball we can all have in that place \:\)

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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