Newest Members
Aurigny, Luther, LuckyCharm, Jennifer Lyons, TantraPunk
12250 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
AdawgJR (28), Brian (50), hikerpark (52), Jeremy Welch (47), Logan81 (2014), Olson30 (60), Patrick7958 (56)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 39 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12250 Members
73 Forums
63103 Topics
441289 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#78826 - 04/06/06 09:24 PM "Just a Little"
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
"Just do it a little," he said,
"Just a little."
I died inside a little,
Just a little.

But it wasn't just a little,
As he kept on and on and on,
And I was confused,
More than just a little.

And then the others said it as well,
"Just do it a little,
Just a little."
A familiar pattern, on and on and on.

"Just a little,"
Is like sort of right or sort of wrong;
Coax me into your web,
And then threaten me to make me stay.

Watch my soul die,
Just a little each time,
And my heart ache,
More than just a little.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#78827 - 04/06/06 10:31 PM Re: "Just a Little"
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Eddie,

What can I say? This is a painful poem to read, so how much more to write it? I weep with you tonight my friend.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#78828 - 04/07/06 06:37 PM Re: "Just a Little"
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11020
Loc: Denver, CO
Yeah, it hurts to read. A phrase like that one minimizes something very maximum, being a lie. Eddie, I would imagine hearing this phrase anytime stirs things up, regardless of the application or context. It's like me hearing "let me help you." I really hate that phrase.

Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

Top
#78829 - 04/08/06 06:15 PM Re: "Just a Little"
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I think you summed up how everyone here has felt, only good thing is that most of us are not being abused now.

Group HUG Andy, Larry, Eddie, me, and everyone here

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
#78830 - 04/11/06 05:15 PM Re: "Just a Little"
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
You know, Eddie, I keep coming back to read this poem over and over. I never have a comment, but it speaks quietly and deeply to a part of me. It just sort of opens up that part of me and lets some sort of peace filter in. I think it's strange that a poem expressing such pain could do that. Can't explain it. Don't know why. Maybe it's the peace of complete understanding. Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




Top
#78831 - 04/13/06 03:47 AM Re: "Just a Little"
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Eddie,

I read this several days ago and was to emotional to reply at that time. Just know that I am deeply touched and thankful that you were able to show me an area in my life that needs attention. Life is getting better.

Love ya

Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

Top
#78832 - 04/14/06 01:21 AM Re: "Just a Little"
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Eddie,

I think I now know what really affected me about that poem of yours. It's the way a good trusting kid is confused and tricked by others, and how each incident destroys him "just a little" bit more.

Eddie, none of this was your fault. A kid only has so much strength and resources. The trap that claimed you has claimed many others as well. Be gentle with yourself; you were not to blame.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#78833 - 04/14/06 04:30 AM Re: "Just a Little"
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Thank, guys. This was painful to write. It put me back in the mind of 12-year-old Eddie again, and that's a painful place to be. Remembering specifics of how I was conned, how degraded I felt, etc. I appreciate the feedback, and I appreciate all of you men. You get it and understand it.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#78834 - 04/14/06 07:59 AM Re: "Just a Little"
kniob Offline
Member

Registered: 03/04/06
Posts: 47
Loc: NC, USA
eddie,
You have done something all the memories of my abuse could never do. you have brought tears to my eyes. This is an excellent poem. This poem is so simple but so powerful...Thank you for shearing this with us.

_________________________
If I die, he wins.
Losing is not an option.

Forgive yourself.

Top
#78835 - 04/17/06 09:33 PM Re: "Just a Little"
The Seeker Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 141
Loc: Ohio, USA
Eddie,

This is a great poem. I felt that too. I started thinking that the Grand Canyon was made little by little too, but that is one big hole in the ground. A little may not be that little after all, in time. It certainly didn't feel little to me. Your poem made me think of how I was eroded away until I felt like nothing.
But not anymore. Thanks.

John

_________________________
The answers are in me.

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, Publius 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.