I am going through a wierd time right now, I find myself stuck to the computer to see what you guys think of the book. I am nervous, like I am going to the police to tell my story like I did at 9 years old after the molestation. I am needing your feedback like an addict and I know it is not right to need like that. I know that I am seeking approval like I have done most of my life, but this time it is bigger than ever, my life is on paper, others will read it and I am fearful. I know that is not right either but I am feeling a great deal of stress, hoping that the book will help others, hoping that it may bring attention to our plight, hoping that it may save lives, hoping that I will not let all of you down and the list goes on. The pressure is great and I don't know how to deal with it other than to come here and talk to you guys, my brothers. I had no idea I would go through this and I don't mean to burden you guys, but your support will be much appreciated, support by way of these post's.

John,

I visited the web page you listed regarding your book. I think that you should relax. I was going to order it but I think I will get at Barnes and Noble.

I think that making the effort to tell your story will help all of us. RELAX!

Jaay

i think the cover is cool perfect

Your destiny is sepaparate from that of the book. The Book came thru you, but is not of you. At best you may see it as the final release of your past. So now you are completely free of it, plus now that you have 'released' it literally, may it live the life meant for it.

Your right about relaxing, I have been trying to relax and just can't seem to get there. The book "living a life meant for it" is helping me to seperate from it, I will keep trying. It is hard to let go but I need to just relax like all of you have said. For some reason over the last couple of nights I have been anxious to hear back from you guys, I just wanted to see what you thought of the cover and the sneak peek. I guess I am looking for approval, acceptence, you know the typical SA stuff.

Thanks for the replies,

I am sorry for feeling like this and I don't mean to be, I think I just need to know that you guys are behind me.


Thanks again for the replies.

You getting anxious about a book seems fine, when you meet me, one who gets gets anxious about every post, as if I am on the line here, and so check in to see, whether someone has responded to 'me', or got mad at me....and then I remember it is not me, and just a post written by me.

Even if you dont like my post, is it ok, what I fear is that you not liking me, and that IS my fear...and then again I tell myself it is ok if you dont like me, I like myself enough, post or no post.

Ramble stilltenskin

And guess who has been feeling so anxious all this while, it is the boy who lives in me, he comes up to me and tell me how he is feeling, but now I am doing better as I dont shoo him away like my father, I say, "Its ok, its ok..." and then I remember that is what I wanted to hear all this while!

Today, we are both fine,as we have each other for company.

Morning Star, I can say that with your post I feel comfort, you are right in all that you have said. The little boy in me feels like he is exposing himself to the world once more and he is afraid that others will not like what he has to say, some may get angry and again you are right the book has its on identity now and I just have to let it go.

Thanks for the reply,

John,

I think you will find that it will take awhile to get feedback about your book. It takes time for a book to be ordered, to arrive, and then finally to get read!

I certainly intend to read it and I'm glad you have been able to tell your story.

Much love,
Larry