You are dealing with a tremendous amount of stuff right now (as if you didn't know). I think that you have a tremendous amount of courage to stick to your convictions and continue with the divorce. If she has been abusive all of these years and then suddenly has a change of heart, it is probably out of a sense of guilt on her part that she may be kicking someone when he's down. I don't think I would want to live with that either. I wouldn't want pity.
My concern is: do you have other people around you (in the physical sense) who will be with you during this time? You can't go this alone. I'm thinking not only of the emotional support, but also people who can care for you if you can't care for yourself with day-to-day activities. That's important, too.
I can't begin to imagine the thousands of things on your mind at this time, and I applaud your courage and fortitude. But, I want to make sure that you have enough help around you especially when dealing with a terminal illness.
I'm not a "religious" person, but I am a spiritual one and I am praying for you to have strength to work through these struggles and that, eventually, you will be at peace with yourself and someday soon realize that you HAVE made a difference in this world. We never truly know how many lives we touch during this snippet of time that we have on this earth. If we're lucky, we get to see one example.
I know that your courage and honesty has touched many people here. And, in that sense, you have done more good than you could even begin to imagine.
Please continue to write and let us know how you are doing. We're always here to listen.
There are no unresolved issues - they just didn't resolve themselves the way we would have liked. "Grinder and Bandler - Neuro-Linguistic Programming"