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#7817 - 02/03/05 03:06 AM Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
We're doing a men's study class at our church called "Wild at Heart - Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul", by John Eldredge. From the back cover: "...John Eldredge invites men to recover their masculine heart..." It's excellent so far. We're on chapter 4, which is about the "wound". Eldredge says that all men sustained some type of emotional wound in their childhood, almost always from their father. (Wow, Eldredge knows me!).

Anyway, a question he asks in the workbook is: "What did your father "name" you - what identity did he bestow on you as a boy and young man? Perhaps there might even be an actual name he gave you, like seagull, or fatty, or S#@!head."

Well, that brought back memories. I hadn't thought of it in years, but I recalled that whenever my father would get mad at me he would always call me "Boy". Even when I was in high school, 18 years old, it was always "Boy". I knew exactly what he meant by it as well - it was like he was saying "You're not a man, Boy, and don't you forget it." The meaning was all too clear.

_________________________
Eddie

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#7818 - 02/03/05 04:31 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
FLRich Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404
No lie, my Father always called me, and in fact to this day still calls me 'Count'...short for "no account". That is Southern slang for worthless. Wonder why I never told him about my abuse?


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#7819 - 02/03/05 07:20 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
I always call my son "Best Buddy", and he is!
Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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#7820 - 02/03/05 11:32 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
The main person who abuse me, he always call me the 'little sh*t' when talking of me to other people. He would say it in English so I did not know what it mean for long time. But when talking to me directly, in Russia, we have formal name, but thati s not often used, it is often diminutive name, informal name. He would use informal way of my name that really was like to call me 'little boy' always, even when I am 17 years old. I guess it was way to make me feel much more less of him.

Andrei


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#7821 - 02/03/05 04:53 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Andrei, I think the moniker 'Champion' would suit you very well. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

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#7822 - 02/03/05 05:09 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Aden Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 499
My older step-brother (the abuser) moved in with us when I was 8. We had the same name. Robbie. He got to keep being Robbie. I became Little Rob. At 50 years old, I still get pissed off about that! Which is why I prefer Aden.


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#7823 - 02/03/05 08:23 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
I hate the term. Dirty little bastard. To this day.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#7824 - 02/04/05 06:05 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Jeff S. Offline
Member

Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 46
Loc: Northern WIsconsin
My abuser was a teacher, and his nickname for me was "Mouth." I had a tendency to talk too much, trying to gain attention and hopefully acceptance.

To this day, almost anything that is said derogetory towards children gets me so angry, I almost get violent.

Jeff S.


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#7825 - 02/04/05 06:24 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Doppelganger1 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/14/03
Posts: 37
Loc: Miami, FL
My dad called me a shmendrick, which is not a nice thing to call a kid. One time he called me a "picayune little pissant". That happened just once, but it made an indelible imprint on me.

_________________________
"Tough times never last. Tough people do."

Darryl Kile

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#7826 - 02/04/05 07:40 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
My great uncle would call me" Thomas"when he wanted me . I hated that everyone called me Tom but when I heard those words "Thomas come here"I knew what was going to happen next. Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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