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#78200 - 01/28/06 01:45 PM Who does he now Trust
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I dont know whether they will allow this to come out.

Triggers

Have a Look.

I looked long and hard at this man of God.
He was a good man in himself but seemed so powerless in an organisation which we call Catholic Christianity.

I remember as a child having my full trust in God, but somehow had a natural boundary towards priests.

I did NOT trust them, but why?
Why could I not trust a man of the cloth.

I guess I found it real hard to trust any man, but I felt very wary of priests, and fought my teachers when they hurt me also.

I remember getting blamed for knocking on the headmasters door, I was already quaking as we had to stand in underwear waiting to be seen by a nurse.

He dragged me into his office and pulled my pants down, then I screamed at him that I did not do it.
I told him who did it, and the other boys protected him, but that bastard got caught out, and took the beating.

It was bad enough being so naked, but you are under the control of carers, or so they say.

I have a charity which I support called SMA fathers, they visited my school, these monks, and I was thrilled to just meet really nice priests who were so cool.

I was just thinking that we need a Pope, that can take control of the Vatican, and bring any faith of catholic church back to all of our minds.

There is a lot of hurt in looking back on losing my faith, but I still put my trust in God, because Satan is getting his way in OUR World,

Let us stand together against satanic influences wherever we meet them, and banish it for ever,

Please do not move this post,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#78201 - 01/28/06 05:02 PM Re: Who does he now Trust
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ste,

I hope your post stays put, as I think it is worth talking about and is not in any way inappropriate.

I am not sure what I personally can say about all this. I was raised in a religious Protestant family, but my parents absolutely insisted that there should be a strict separation between church and state. I went to a very secular state school and public prayer was eliminated while I was in school. Not that it was very religious before that anyway. We were all embarrassed and we did what we were told to do.

So my point is that all these things I hear about religious schools horrify me not just because the actions themselves are so bad, but also because this is so far beyond my experience. We got paddled, stood in corners, and had to write "Why I should not..." essays, but things were not done with the specific idea of shaming us and making us think we were bad.

So I guess my answer to you Ste (or to anyone else with an answer) is a question: Is this something specific to the Catholic schools, or did this kind of thing go on in, say, Protestant and Jewish religious schools as well? I.e. is this about Catholicism, or is it (more likely) about frustrated teachers with too much self-righteousness and too much power?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#78202 - 01/28/06 11:09 PM Re: Who does he now Trust
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Larry,

I attended religious school K-12. I remember a couple of boys when I was in first grade who were shamed in front of the whole class and locked in a dark closet for the whole afternoon.

I don't know what they did to bring about the punnishment. The teacher told us all that they were bad boys and that they had dirty minds, that we were not to be like them. I remember them crying.

One of the boys left school shortly afterward. The other one was around for another 9 1/2 years or so but he was always a troubled boy. Acted out a lot in one way or another.

Looking back it amazes me how ignorant society was during those years. Are we still that way? Sometimes I wonder.

Troubled,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#78203 - 01/29/06 09:51 PM Re: Who does he now Trust
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
John,

I guess what I am wondering is whether the terribly shaming tactics I see being talked about by Ste and others are something specific to religious schools. It looks like maybe they are, but I wonder what others have to say.

I wonder if it has something to do with the unquestioned authority that religious schools claim. I know that if I had gone home and told my Dad that a teacher or headmaster had shamed me like was done to Ste, he would have been over at the school in five minutes!!!

Thanks for your input bro.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#78204 - 01/29/06 10:08 PM Re: Who does he now Trust
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
How about this one, getting a piece of iron thrown at your head by a teacher for talking in class!
If I had have told my dad, that teacher would have been history so he did not tell.

How about a photography teacher who 'borrows' my entire collection of photographs from WW2 there were hundreds, keeps them for months.

I kept asking for them back and he falters and falters eventually telling me that he had already passed them back to me.

That is abuse to a normal kid, it was more than massive to me at the time, as he was regarding me as stupid and forgetful.

Imagine if someone borrowed a few hundred off you today, you badger them for the cash, and they say they had already paid you back, then think how a kid of 12yo thinks.

A 'friend' puts this teachers pet fish to teach him a lesson and I screamed at him to not put them in hydrochloric acid screaming with laughter as he did it.

You guess who got the blame for it, me.
I did get that one rescinded, as I impressed on my form master that I dont get my own back, and certainly would never do that to animals because a teacher hurt me, he listened to me.

I wonder whether it is just ourselves who were abused who had traits that were not fully understood by peers nor teachers?

I have a massive distrust of men, yet I love talking and being with them, but I cant stop thinking that abuse pushed me so far away from them.

I think it is all about not understanding the feelings without being able to tell anybody.

I lost my right to complain when being abused.

Lost my ability to even know that what was happening was abuse, and not what he should just expect.

Is it any wonder we are who we are today, fixing that little wounded boy,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#78205 - 01/30/06 07:48 AM Re: Who does he now Trust
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I put this pic here because I put it in a favorites folder.

I guess I looked so hard at a good man who was powerless over his own Kingdom that God wanted him to be his shepherd over.

I know he exercised his power to some extent over the evil forces of the World, but somehow, he did not have power over those who choose Satan as their leader.

Our whole lives have never changed, since man evolved he strove to control other men, sometimes with dire consequence such as the World today.

The picture shows a man struggling through his own deep emotions about a World that he has little control over.

I wonder why?

I guess he lived a life of poverty against greed, but greed hurt him so much that he gave up trying to live in a World that is so alien to Gods wishes,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#78206 - 01/30/06 09:36 PM Re: Who does he now Trust
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ste,

I can remember being beaten by a teacher for no reason. He told me afterwards that I should stop irritating him: for that I got thrown across the room and slapped back and forth across the face a few times. Didn't say a word when I went home of course. I assumed I must have been guilty of something! But he didn't try to shame me, or at least I didn't take it that way.

The closest thing I can remember to that was in 1964-65 when the Beatles were becoming a big hit. A boy in my class let his hair grow long and was ordered to cut it. He refused and his parents backed him up. So one day we came out of art class and there was the school principal and two big gym teachers with a chair. They grabbed the kid, smacked him around a bit until he calmed down, and then gave him a haircut right there in the corridor.

The result was a huge scandal. It was in all the papers and the parents sued. They dropped the case when the three teachers publicly apologized.

I didn't think of it like this at that time, but that was child abuse!

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#78207 - 01/31/06 06:41 AM Re: Who does he now Trust
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Larry,

I guess it is all about that age.
You are trying so hard to follow your peers through school and wonder why they are not being targetted by the few teachers who did not try and understand.

It is immensely difficult to even be at school, also difficult to think you are odd, then you go home and cry all night and have nightmares.

My eating habits stemmed from school years, where I just never ate before going to school.
So the kid had no sleep, no food, and full of untapped emotional stressors, no wonder he got beat by teachers.

The only time it really stopped, was when I stood up in class and shamed them in front of the other kids, they thought I was a hero, but I just wanted to lick my wounds,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#78208 - 01/31/06 08:09 PM Re: Who does he now Trust
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ste,

It is remarkable how much of yourself you lay on the line here. You are really showing great insight into what was happening to you as a boy.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#78209 - 01/31/06 09:35 PM Re: Who does he now Trust
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Larry,

there is a lot I have not even thought about.
Abuse causes a cycle of abuse even from those who should care like teachers.

I note that it was mainly the wimp type teachers who took advantage excepting one.
I took most of them on because I could not stand it any more.

I even thought of telling Mr Murphy who was an ex rugby player who must have been six and a half feet tall to have strong words with them.
Funnily, he was so big yet so gentle to all the kids.

The maths teacher knocked me senseless, he was a big guy but I stood up to him. He got me in his office and I thought he was gonna whack the Hell out of me, but he was so cool.

I changed that man for sure, I called him an abuser and told him he is not working in a correction centre, I tore into him.
He used to work in a borstal for rough kids.

He said he admired what I had done, thing is he knew I liked him even though he was strict, he was the one who taught me very high level math.
I still love math and keep up with modern stuff.

I did not want to fight them nor the bullies, but I had to stick up for myself. I went from expecting abuse to shaming the abuser and it mostly worked.

I was wondering about the shock it would do for the public to know just what goes on in a place like this, they would be outraged at the government for not helping us more.

take care,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
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