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#78183 - 01/15/06 01:15 AM Wishes
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
I wished that it was all a nightmare, it was not true, how could it be!

How could it really be true?

Did I ever think society would help him when he was so young and crying in the dark, finding solace in an empty house on a building site to just sit and cry his little heart out.

He sensed that nobody loved or really cared for him in the World, not anybody.

He became an outcast of a shell of the boy he should have been, and maybe go on to great things, and be a valuable member of society.

Nobody wants to know you when you are down, they just pour on more hurt, even when they know you are already hurting, they dont know how to deal with my hurt.

Nobody knows, who cares, and who is that boy who shows no feeling yet the little boy cries out in hurt inside, does nobody see him, does nobody care?

I guess not.

This little boy is a fighter though, and he will fight until people recognise the effects of CSA on kids.

Abusers who take away a childs life, by keeping them silent will be hopefully a thing of the past,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#78184 - 01/22/06 01:57 PM Re: Wishes
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Ste,

I had the strangest feelings about that one. For several years I kept thinking what if this is all a nightmare and I wake up and I'm really 11 and I'm home and safe and nothing happened. That was Little Larry of course, and I suppose it was a form of denial.

That seems to have been a kind of phase for me. It ended abruptly when I disclosed to my parents. I was sitting with Cathie in Sharon's (the T's) office for half an hour talking before my parents arrived. Then suddenly Sharon said to me, Larry, they're here, are you ready?

At that moment I realized that it really did happen. There was no way around that and now I (Little Larry) was going to tell my Dad that man is doing things to me and I don't like it and I'm scared.

It was a shock at the time, but it gave me peace Ste, at least on that front. I just don't think of the possibility that it was all a nightmare anymore. That makes it easier for me to look forward and focus on recovery, though sure, I do still get ambushed from time to time.

Hope this is of some help.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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