We're doing a men's study class at our church called "Wild at Heart - Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul", by John Eldredge. From the back cover: "...John Eldredge invites men to recover their masculine heart..." It's excellent so far. We're on chapter 4, which is about the "wound". Eldredge says that all men sustained some type of emotional wound in their childhood, almost always from their father. (Wow, Eldredge knows me!).

Anyway, a question he asks in the workbook is: "What did your father "name" you - what identity did he bestow on you as a boy and young man? Perhaps there might even be an actual name he gave you, like seagull, or fatty, or S#@!head."

Well, that brought back memories. I hadn't thought of it in years, but I recalled that whenever my father would get mad at me he would always call me "Boy". Even when I was in high school, 18 years old, it was always "Boy". I knew exactly what he meant by it as well - it was like he was saying "You're not a man, Boy, and don't you forget it." The meaning was all too clear.

No lie, my Father always called me, and in fact to this day still calls me 'Count'...short for "no account". That is Southern slang for worthless. Wonder why I never told him about my abuse?

I always call my son "Best Buddy", and he is!
Peace, Andrew

The main person who abuse me, he always call me the 'little sh*t' when talking of me to other people. He would say it in English so I did not know what it mean for long time. But when talking to me directly, in Russia, we have formal name, but thati s not often used, it is often diminutive name, informal name. He would use informal way of my name that really was like to call me 'little boy' always, even when I am 17 years old. I guess it was way to make me feel much more less of him.

Andrei

Andrei, I think the moniker 'Champion' would suit you very well. Peace, Andrew

My older step-brother (the abuser) moved in with us when I was 8. We had the same name. Robbie. He got to keep being Robbie. I became Little Rob. At 50 years old, I still get pissed off about that! Which is why I prefer Aden.

I hate the term. Dirty little bastard. To this day.

My abuser was a teacher, and his nickname for me was "Mouth." I had a tendency to talk too much, trying to gain attention and hopefully acceptance.

To this day, almost anything that is said derogetory towards children gets me so angry, I almost get violent.

Jeff S.

My dad called me a shmendrick, which is not a nice thing to call a kid. One time he called me a "picayune little pissant". That happened just once, but it made an indelible imprint on me.

My great uncle would call me" Thomas"when he wanted me . I hated that everyone called me Tom but when I heard those words "Thomas come here"I knew what was going to happen next. Tom

i never had a father but i had a lot of diff abusers cuz when i was a kid i was sold to diff guys. But some names they called me those words still bother me, the worst was dog cuz thats what i was to one of them , his dog, alot called me boy and i hate that too, and some jus called me lil ho and i hate that too, the bitch that birthed me always jus called me lil shit and i dont think anyone ever called me by my name.

Freak, or, freak of nature always does it for me.
Words called to me by my older brother, he never knew how cutting his remarks were to me, but he knows now.

Jeff,

I really hate hearing kids being called derogatory names as though they mean nothing, I get very angry at these people. I have a lot of respect for kids, and a positive caring attitude. Is that not what adults are supposed to do to their young.

ste

I was called "bad boy" or "bad, bad boy" by which was meant worthless.

Also, called "evil" and "horrible child," "monster." Imagine a child of 4 or 5 being a "monster." I was, half the time, despised and regretted (a mistake that I was born at all) and, probably in the other half as well but then I managed to fly beneath the radar all wrapped up in layers of emotional distance.

Just writing these things brings it back (its okay--you warned about triggers).

I'm a kid again hiding under the kitchen table, like that old 50's-60's way of protecting yourself from nuclear radiation.

I was broken, anyway. The names just packed it in.

I was called Freak. And I hate being called that as adult.

So many names I was given as a child...

God knows I hate just about every one of them...

Mom was a Physical/Mental abuser - her list of names for me was very long indeed - I'll only list some of her most popular ones here...(it was the way in wich she said these things that held so much more power than what was actualy said - hard to explain...)
- Dumb sh*t
- stupid f*ck
- brainless little f*cker
- 'boy'
- dog boy
- her little mistake
- even my given name was used against me

Uncle was the Sexual abuser - he often called me his 'lil buddy - a name that still makes my blood boil...(cause it infered that what he was doing to me was as a friend)

Dad was the only one who ever gave me a good nickname and it was'nt used all that often - it was 'buckshot' - a name that would make me well up with pride inside every time he used it...

For as long as I can remember I've been dad's bitch. "Are you listening bitch?" "Had enough bitch?" "Get up bitch!" Lazy bitch, stupid bitch, f*cking bitch, c*nt, p*ssy, wh*re, girl. Around other people he'll say kiddo or my name. Mom's got other names for me, mistake is one of them. "You're just like your dad" isn't a nickname or a bad word but it's the most upsetting. It makes me disappear.

I was called almost every name in the book from everyone, nut the nickname my moooooom's boyfriend gave me was "quick f*ck". He used to say any thime he wasntd sex, which was aloot. He said that that was all i'd everr be good foor and that that was why he'd sell me cuz all i was good for is a quick f*ckk. why do people nevermind

My step-father was pretty smart and capable but he had zero emotional intelliegnce and should have never been around children. He was an ex-marine(sorry to any decent marines out there)and treated everyone like walking meat. I will always assocaite marines with abuse. Anyway, his favorite term for me was "careless". There were plenty of other words - most mentioned in the posts above. To this day I want to maim anyone who says that to me. As TJ jeff said, it was the way the word was used more than the actual word. They tried to control , belittle and emascualte us with these little names.

Indeed ! To this day, my emotions react violently to being called a "pussy".

They never called me anything, it was like I wasn't even worthy of a name, they just took what they wanted and left me.