Newest Members
BCtejas, JHNebraska, mike42069, JACKL, Personman
12491 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
kb8715 (114), rom2057 (57), terrapin (51)
Who's Online
2 registered (2 invisible), 17 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12491 Members
74 Forums
64158 Topics
447715 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#7817 - 02/03/05 03:06 AM Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
We're doing a men's study class at our church called "Wild at Heart - Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul", by John Eldredge. From the back cover: "...John Eldredge invites men to recover their masculine heart..." It's excellent so far. We're on chapter 4, which is about the "wound". Eldredge says that all men sustained some type of emotional wound in their childhood, almost always from their father. (Wow, Eldredge knows me!).

Anyway, a question he asks in the workbook is: "What did your father "name" you - what identity did he bestow on you as a boy and young man? Perhaps there might even be an actual name he gave you, like seagull, or fatty, or S#@!head."

Well, that brought back memories. I hadn't thought of it in years, but I recalled that whenever my father would get mad at me he would always call me "Boy". Even when I was in high school, 18 years old, it was always "Boy". I knew exactly what he meant by it as well - it was like he was saying "You're not a man, Boy, and don't you forget it." The meaning was all too clear.

_________________________
Eddie

Top
#7818 - 02/03/05 04:31 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
FLRich Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/21/04
Posts: 1404
No lie, my Father always called me, and in fact to this day still calls me 'Count'...short for "no account". That is Southern slang for worthless. Wonder why I never told him about my abuse?


Top
#7819 - 02/03/05 07:20 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
I always call my son "Best Buddy", and he is!
Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

Top
#7820 - 02/03/05 11:32 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
The main person who abuse me, he always call me the 'little sh*t' when talking of me to other people. He would say it in English so I did not know what it mean for long time. But when talking to me directly, in Russia, we have formal name, but thati s not often used, it is often diminutive name, informal name. He would use informal way of my name that really was like to call me 'little boy' always, even when I am 17 years old. I guess it was way to make me feel much more less of him.

Andrei


Top
#7821 - 02/03/05 04:53 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Andrei, I think the moniker 'Champion' would suit you very well. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

Top
#7822 - 02/03/05 05:09 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Aden Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 499
My older step-brother (the abuser) moved in with us when I was 8. We had the same name. Robbie. He got to keep being Robbie. I became Little Rob. At 50 years old, I still get pissed off about that! Which is why I prefer Aden.


Top
#7823 - 02/03/05 08:23 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
I hate the term. Dirty little bastard. To this day.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

Top
#7824 - 02/04/05 06:05 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Jeff S. Offline
Member

Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 46
Loc: Northern WIsconsin
My abuser was a teacher, and his nickname for me was "Mouth." I had a tendency to talk too much, trying to gain attention and hopefully acceptance.

To this day, almost anything that is said derogetory towards children gets me so angry, I almost get violent.

Jeff S.


Top
#7825 - 02/04/05 06:24 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Doppelganger1 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/14/03
Posts: 37
Loc: Miami, FL
My dad called me a shmendrick, which is not a nice thing to call a kid. One time he called me a "picayune little pissant". That happened just once, but it made an indelible imprint on me.

_________________________
"Tough times never last. Tough people do."

Darryl Kile

Top
#7826 - 02/04/05 07:40 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
My great uncle would call me" Thomas"when he wanted me . I hated that everyone called me Tom but when I heard those words "Thomas come here"I knew what was going to happen next. Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#7827 - 02/04/05 09:45 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Jake_t2398 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 131
i never had a father but i had a lot of diff abusers cuz when i was a kid i was sold to diff guys. But some names they called me those words still bother me, the worst was dog cuz thats what i was to one of them , his dog, alot called me boy and i hate that too, and some jus called me lil ho and i hate that too, the bitch that birthed me always jus called me lil shit and i dont think anyone ever called me by my name.


Top
#7828 - 02/04/05 10:04 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Freak, or, freak of nature always does it for me.
Words called to me by my older brother, he never knew how cutting his remarks were to me, but he knows now.

Jeff,

Quote:
To this day, almost anything that is said derogetory towards children gets me so angry, I almost get violent.
I really hate hearing kids being called derogatory names as though they mean nothing, I get very angry at these people. I have a lot of respect for kids, and a positive caring attitude. Is that not what adults are supposed to do to their young.

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
#7829 - 02/04/05 10:49 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Brayton Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/21/03
Posts: 696
Loc: Minneapolis
I was called "bad boy" or "bad, bad boy" by which was meant worthless.

Also, called "evil" and "horrible child," "monster." Imagine a child of 4 or 5 being a "monster." I was, half the time, despised and regretted (a mistake that I was born at all) and, probably in the other half as well but then I managed to fly beneath the radar all wrapped up in layers of emotional distance.

Just writing these things brings it back (its okay--you warned about triggers).

I'm a kid again hiding under the kitchen table, like that old 50's-60's way of protecting yourself from nuclear radiation.

I was broken, anyway. The names just packed it in.

_________________________
Sometimes, things just won't work the way we want them to.

Top
#7830 - 02/04/05 10:52 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Glen Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/04
Posts: 71
Loc: Wisconsin
I was called Freak. And I hate being called that as adult.

_________________________
Please tell me why..

Top
#7831 - 02/05/05 04:31 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3389
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
So many names I was given as a child...

God knows I hate just about every one of them...

Mom was a Physical/Mental abuser - her list of names for me was very long indeed - I'll only list some of her most popular ones here...(it was the way in wich she said these things that held so much more power than what was actualy said - hard to explain...)
- Dumb sh*t
- stupid f*ck
- brainless little f*cker
- 'boy'
- dog boy
- her little mistake
- even my given name was used against me

Uncle was the Sexual abuser - he often called me his 'lil buddy - a name that still makes my blood boil...(cause it infered that what he was doing to me was as a friend)

Dad was the only one who ever gave me a good nickname and it was'nt used all that often - it was 'buckshot' - a name that would make me well up with pride inside every time he used it...

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

Top
#7832 - 03/18/05 06:26 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Charlie Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/05
Posts: 148
For as long as I can remember I've been dad's bitch. "Are you listening bitch?" "Had enough bitch?" "Get up bitch!" Lazy bitch, stupid bitch, f*cking bitch, c*nt, p*ssy, wh*re, girl. Around other people he'll say kiddo or my name. Mom's got other names for me, mistake is one of them. "You're just like your dad" isn't a nickname or a bad word but it's the most upsetting. It makes me disappear.


Top
#7833 - 03/19/05 08:02 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
Dude Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 118
Loc: Fort Smith, AR
I was called almost every name in the book from everyone, nut the nickname my moooooom's boyfriend gave me was "quick f*ck". He used to say any thime he wasntd sex, which was aloot. He said that that was all i'd everr be good foor and that that was why he'd sell me cuz all i was good for is a quick f*ckk. why do people nevermind


Top
#7834 - 03/19/05 03:10 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
self_righting Offline
Member

Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 69
Loc: Tampa, FL
My step-father was pretty smart and capable but he had zero emotional intelliegnce and should have never been around children. He was an ex-marine(sorry to any decent marines out there)and treated everyone like walking meat. I will always assocaite marines with abuse. Anyway, his favorite term for me was "careless". There were plenty of other words - most mentioned in the posts above. To this day I want to maim anyone who says that to me. As TJ jeff said, it was the way the word was used more than the actual word. They tried to control , belittle and emascualte us with these little names.


Top
#7835 - 03/19/05 07:15 PM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
ShyBear Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 149
Loc: The American South
Quote:
They tried to ... emascualte us with these little names.
Indeed ! To this day, my emotions react violently to being called a "pussy".


Top
#7836 - 03/20/05 02:23 AM Re: Derogatory nicknames (*triggers*)
lostone Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/09/05
Posts: 14
They never called me anything, it was like I wasn't even worthy of a name, they just took what they wanted and left me. \:\(


Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.