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#78088 - 12/13/05 07:38 PM Re: disconnected from God
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Darrel, John and John,

Thanks again for all your support and insights. I still don't understand why I feel so disconnected, but yes John, your comments are very thought-provoking and it helps a lot.

I don't feel that I am challenging anything; it's just a sense of drifting, of being cut loose. At least now it's something I want to look at and remedy. I do feel I am missing something that I want and something that will benefit me in big ways.

I think I keep comparing how I feel now to how things were for me before I disclosed to my parents. That was such a huge issue for me that I could focus on it - now it's past and I have moved on. But as I said in another thread, moved on to what. Maybe I am regrouping.

It's such a strange feeling, and maybe I fret about it because I still have a lot of self-confidence issues. Maybe a better term is self-awareness issues. I have been throwing away a lot of "junk" and discovering a "me" that I haven't seen for many years. I guess I don't yet understand what is emerging and how that relates to me as a spiritual person.

This is nonsense I suspect, but here it comes anyway.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#78089 - 12/15/05 02:49 AM Re: disconnected from God
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Larry,

It's not nonsense if you felt you needed to say it. \:\) Never is. Or perhaps I should add that I'll let you know when it is? \:D Nah, strike that.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#78090 - 12/15/05 04:10 AM Re: disconnected from God
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Larry,

I agree with John, it is not nonsense, I'm not completely sure I understand it all, but it is not nonsense. It is what is on your heart and needs to be expressed. Drifting is ok, because sooner or later you will find what you are looking for. So my advice is simple, just keep your eyes open and don't throw anything out 'till you know what it is.

love you,

Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#78091 - 12/16/05 12:55 PM Re: disconnected from God
Morning Star Offline
Member

Registered: 12/21/04
Posts: 1124
Loc: Home
Spirit, when we connect with it, we become spiritual, when we loose our connection, we feel disconnected with everything, including our emotions.

That is why the first step in healing is feeling.

When we feel we experience life, and when we experience life we learn. And when we learn, we also learn that life's biggest lesson is learning to love.

So when we can feel love, we can feel God in our spirit, because God is our spirit.

That for me is 'self' awareness, because when you know your self as a wave in the Ocean, you no longer feel disconnected.

_________________________
~ It's over!...Let go of Thy Past, Remember Thy Self ~

Why Don't People Heal, by Caroline Myss; 30 days to clean up your vibrations - Abraham-Hicks

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#78092 - 12/16/05 02:28 PM Re: disconnected from God
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
John, Darrel and MS,

Thanks for your further comments here. It really does give me a lot to think about, and especially over the holidays. I hope I can put your thoughts and ideas to some positive use; at the moment I still feel that I am on the threshhold of numerous things, but I just don't see what they are yet.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#78093 - 12/17/05 02:35 AM Re: disconnected from God
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
I'll be thinking good thoughts for you then, Larry.

Wishing you good things,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#78094 - 12/17/05 02:52 AM Re: disconnected from God
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Quote:

I don't feel that I am challenging anything; it's just a sense of drifting, of being cut loose. At least now it's something I want to look at and remedy. I do feel I am missing something that I want and something that will benefit me in big ways.
That's pretty exciting, Larry. Very exciting. I'm thinking good thoughts for you, man.

_________________________
Eddie

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#78095 - 12/17/05 07:03 PM Re: disconnected from God
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Larry,

it is easy to find yourself disconnected from god, but I suppose that I found myself back with him, and believing in him.

If anyone is going to Hell, then it is the bastard who kept you silent, not you.

It is easy to feel so odd at church, and you never find me there so much, why? Because unconsciously I will find myself sussing out the priest, and his actions towards kids.

I used to go to church about 10 times a week when I was hurting, and begging god to help me through it all, and even if I did not think he listened, then he must have given me much guidance.

People blame religion on everything bad in the world, they call muslims beasts because some muslims cause terror to the world, but so called christians have done a whole raft of worse things in the world today.

Does this make me as a christian fall into the category also, or you. NO.

There are many kids crying in silence today in their little worlds of no escape, and it is for them we must think of, that they may find away through, and a load sadly do not.

My christmas is always spiritual, and I celebrate it the way it should be, and not stuffing myself silly nor overindulging in drink etc.

More food gets wasted in the west over christmas than is eaten, when half of the world is starving.

God helps me to see the beauty that he has created, whether it is a group of boys playing ball and smiling away, to the seasons or plants, the sea etc.

You may feel disconnected, but he is not from you,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#78096 - 12/18/05 10:29 PM Re: disconnected from God
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
For what it's worth, let me state that from the content of his postings, I know Larry to be a deeply spiritual man -- full of caring wisdom and support for his brothers. Questions of faith (or lack thereof) can be beside the point sometimes, I believe. It is in deeds that a spiritual life is expressed, not just in words and posturing. God (however you understand him/her/it) must love Larry (Big and Little) very much. With the big respect and best wishes for the holiday season. Love, etc.,

_________________________
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

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#78097 - 12/19/05 01:11 PM Re: disconnected from God
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
if youv'e been convinced that god doesn't exist ,how do you ever change that? i want to believe so bad but i find it hard to believe that god was aware of my abuse and did nothing ,sure i survived but sometimes it seems like that was not a good thing .during the time i was held captive and abused, every night while i lay in that closet i would pray to god ,to save me or just let me die ,i truly expected god to save me, i was 11 years old and to me god was this guy who lived in heaven ,who saw everything that happened in the world ,he could do anything ,but he didn't save me so i decided that either god didn't exist ,or i was so bad that he didn't care about me ,so i became angry at god and finally decided that god was just a fairy tale like santa claus every time i watch the news i have to say where is god? why don't he stop all the sick perverted things people do . sorry i don't think this post belongs here with posts about believing in god ,if god does exist why did he forget about me shadow

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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