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#77967 - 10/08/05 12:41 AM Is this a place for me?
subdeacon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 83
Loc: Florida
never mind

_________________________
"By way of trials and sufferings we must purify the divine image in us...for it is by reforging our senses in the furnace of our trials that we free them from defilement and assume our royal dignity. --Abba Philimon

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#77968 - 10/18/05 07:01 PM Re: Is this a place for me?
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
I can't imagine that I didn't respond to this.

Of course this is the place for you. Whether it be here in the Spiritual section or somewhere else on the site. If you're a survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse(CSA) then this is a place for you.
You've said that you are in seminary. Would it help us to know what denomination, what part of the country? I'd like to know.
How do you find the fellowship? Does it make it easier to deal with any unresolved issues being in such an environment?
This is your home just as well it is mine or John's or Michael's or Andrew's or Leosha's...when he is home.
Yes, Phillip, this is your place.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#77969 - 10/18/05 08:16 PM Re: Is this a place for me?
The Seeker Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 141
Loc: Ohio, USA
Only saw the never mind, but if you are CSA, this place is for you. Make of it what you will, but there are other things to do also. For me, the T really helps. Hang in.

_________________________
The answers are in me.

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#77970 - 10/18/05 08:31 PM Re: Is this a place for me?
Sinking Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 577
Loc: Took my ball and went home.
Phillip - Like The Seeker, I too saw the 'never mind' remark and did just that. I guess I thought you'd changed your mind about posting. I'm sorry if you feel you were being ignored.

You mentioned before that you had exams and such coming up. I hope you are doing well in the face of those.

Peace - John


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#77971 - 10/18/05 08:52 PM Re: Is this a place for me?
AuthenticMe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/05
Posts: 287
As a new member, I can only say that this place has been extremely helpful. The amount of support I've received in my short time here is irreplaceable.

_________________________
I am a Man.

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#77972 - 10/21/05 05:46 AM Re: Is this a place for me?
subdeacon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 83
Loc: Florida
Ah, my friends...didn't see the responses until today. I actually had written something I didn't really like and thought better of it and said...never mind..about 10 minutes after posting it. I got some nice positive responses from some folks in another thread and thought, "OK. I am welcome." This "never mind" is actually a positive thing. I've been coming here for over a year...a little more intensely a year or so ago...sporadically since then. I have been to a T and was helped immensely. Now here at Seminary (and Eastern Orthodox Seminary on the East Coast)
I am learning many spiritual truths about the damage we people do to our psyches (or the psyches of others). The spiritual anthropology is literally breathtaking and mindblowing at times. The emphasis here is more Patristic thought and pastoral issues more than mere academics (though the academics are there).

Exams and papers are going well, the work keeps piling up.

Seminary is a wonderful place for me. The genuine friendships and camaraderie are great. I am in an almost totally male environment (it's also based out of a monastery) but there is nothing threatening or competitive here. It's a very manly place, yes, but in the best sense. For me it is very important to have that positive manliness. I've seen too much of the "dark side" of manhood. There is a lot of humor and a lot of compassion. Very good for me.

Some of the seminarians are married and live off campus and the family life that creeps in is quite welcome.

As in any spiritual endeavor the "demons" come back to haunt you more but we have more tools here in some ways and more quiet and peace to combat them. This morning was glorious. I got up at 4:15am, went to matins and confession with a spiritual father, cleared some garbage out of my soul, took communion during the morning liturgy, went to classes and have been feeling positively reborn all day. There is something nice about getting up and walking across a frosty field in the dark, hearing the Canadian Geese honking almost comically in the morning, the air crisp with nascent winter coming in...then coming up to the silent church, opening the doors, smelling the incense which almost hugs you and then seeing the icons with saints from 1500 years ago who seem as real today as they were then...because they are. It was a good day today.

Thanks for the kind posts, gentle men.

Cheers

Philip

_________________________
"By way of trials and sufferings we must purify the divine image in us...for it is by reforging our senses in the furnace of our trials that we free them from defilement and assume our royal dignity. --Abba Philimon

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#77973 - 10/21/05 11:23 AM Re: Is this a place for me?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Philip,

What a great post. It is so soul-warming to see that you are in a place that is doing you so much good, both academically and spiritually. It sounds like such a peaceful and fulfilling environment in so many ways.

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#77974 - 10/21/05 05:55 PM Re: Is this a place for me?
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
For sure, I was ready to send in my application!!

But, then, they probably don't take old guys.

Married clergy; that sounds positive.

Eastern Orthodox, is that the church so prevelent in Russia?

Blessings on your studies and other places in your life where they're needed.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#77975 - 10/30/05 05:10 AM Re: Is this a place for me?
subdeacon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 83
Loc: Florida
Yes, that's the one that's prevalent in Russia (and Greece and Israel and a bunch of other places. It's been called one of the best kept secrets in the world...unfortunately).

They take older guys too. I'm 40, there are guys here in their 50's too. You never know when God's gonna call!

Got good grades (A's) on two of my exams, a paper is due Thursday and got two more exams coming up and probably another paper due...and you know what? This time around in school, I don't mind so much! I'm having a good time (this comment will come back to haunt me, but what the heck, it's true). Remind me of this post when final exams come around! \:\)

Cheers and blessings,
Philip

Gotta get up early tomorrow, our "special forces" \:\) choir is traveling to another state to sing at a liturgy.

_________________________
"By way of trials and sufferings we must purify the divine image in us...for it is by reforging our senses in the furnace of our trials that we free them from defilement and assume our royal dignity. --Abba Philimon

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#77976 - 10/30/05 11:22 AM Re: Is this a place for me?
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
You sound like you've found your calling.
You don't know how I prayed for that in my youth.

Blessings on your studies, Phillip, I'm sure the Lord has a special assignment for you.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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