Newest Members
RepressedMem, jet_step, JimHouston42, GKB, MorganWut
12468 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
AndyP (48), Gaius (50), JoziSA (52), mmafan66 (48), nltsaved (36), RMM (52), Steve63 (51), zenboy (51)
Who's Online
5 registered (sixtieskid, lapchinj, Sonata1, woodenshoes, 1 invisible), 23 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12468 Members
74 Forums
64031 Topics
446841 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 6 of 6 < 1 2 3 4 5 6
Topic Options
#77934 - 11/09/05 12:09 PM Re: Buddhism Anyone?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark's post reminds me: When my kids were in school they had "Religious Education", and that meant learning about all the world's major religions. The kids had a great time. They celebrated all the festivals and holidays and spent a lot of time going to mosques, temples, chuirches, whatever. It was a great experience for them, and at no time was the emphasis on preaching to them - it was just an introduction to what the different religions believe.

Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#77935 - 11/09/05 02:55 PM Re: Buddhism Anyone?
Sinking Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 577
Loc: Took my ball and went home.
Hi guys - Good to see this back on track. I'm thinking that the Mods might not be able to break out portions of threads in an effort to move or delete them without losing thee whole thing. If that is the case, I would prefer to keep this thread and its mostly positive message here and start a new thread that addresses the controversy over whether or not we had a choice in what happened to us.

And, because there's nowhere else to put it at the moment, but I wanted my message to Larry to be part of this public forum, here is my response to Larry's apology and explanation above:

Larry - This does not affect our friendship nor does it diminish the trust I have in you. I too value that enormously. None of us are perfect, far from it. We may have similar encounters in the future. We can't always agree. I believe our mutual respect will weather any disagreements, debates, etc. that we happen across in the future.

I accept your apology and respect your willingness to take responsibility. I am a little unclear though on whom you were directing your suggestion to tone things down to, if not me and not MR. Any previous contentious debate had been resolved.

I'm sure some of my reaction comes from years of carrying the shame and guilt baggage so many of us carry. It is heavy baggage and very difficult to put down. I think my arms are still sore and sometimes have the feeling that they are still holding the baggage, kind of like when you take a watch off at night but it feels like it's still there...sometimes we even check.

Maybe the feeling never completely goes away. I will always do what I can to get rid of it though, since I have had a taste of being free from it. And I will always take a stand for the boy who couldn't do that on his own because now I can.

I apologize if I have caused any offense to anyone here. I am a fucking pit-bull with a second set of teeth when it comes to defending those I love and that little boy sits at the top of the list, right next to my precious daughter.
Peace - John


That said...Mark, thanks for sharing your experience, it sounds like it was fun and inspiring.

Larry - The approach your kids' school took is exactly the approach I am taking with my daughter in teaching her about religion. We have the Bible and the Torah and several books on Buddha and an excellent book called "The World's Religions" that gives a rather thorough synopsis on the world's 'major' religions. I feel it's best for us all to have a little bit of understanding of each so we can make an educated decision on whether we want to subscribe to one or another.


Top
#77936 - 11/09/05 06:09 PM Re: Buddhism Anyone?
george of kent Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/05
Posts: 305
Loc: delaware
gentlemen, thank you all for a most useful thread - i'll need to read it again, from the top, and absorb the many insights herein that are relevant to my personal situation. Like many here, I was raised RC and almost applied for entrance to the seminary at one point. Now, alas, I have no patience for "organized" christianity of any denomination. Buddhist tenets, from several schools, seem logically and psychologically much more satisfying to me at this current point in my path than do my childhood beliefs. Thanks again for helping me think fairly deeply about important stuff.

_________________________
"We are only two and yet our howling can encircle the world's end.
Frightened, you are my only friend.
And frightened we are, every one.
Someone must take a stand -- Coward, take my coward's hand"
Arthur Laurents

Top
#77937 - 11/09/05 07:20 PM Re: Buddhism Anyone?
Sinking Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 577
Loc: Took my ball and went home.
Welcome to the party George. I'd love to hear more of your thoughts. I too am learning so much from this thread and all involved in it, whether I like it or not. Learning is good, I hope I never stop. Peace - John


Top
#77938 - 11/13/05 05:38 AM Re: Buddhism Anyone?
subdeacon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 83
Loc: Florida
well, I've been gone a while and thought I'd drop by for a few seconds. Whew! things got heated a bit, it seems! This brought back many painful memories for me. My main abuse was when I was aged 6-9. Not so much physical forcing and pain as mental manipulation and grooming. Still, it has a lot of baggage that goes with it...a lot of sorrow and shame. I still have the sorrow...but the shame gets less every day. I am only ashamed of the things I've done, not what was done to me. Does a cow feel ashamed of steaks? It shouldn't...and nor should I feel ashamed. Nothing that happened to me was my fault and none of it was my sin.

I spent a long time, though, with New Age thought and the biggest thing I had problems dealing with was their use (probably misuse) of the concept of karma. Everything that happens in this life was a choice I made in some ethereal realm before I'd incarnated, so that I'd learn some cosmic lesson I hadn't learned in a previous life...or was working out an issue in a previous life. I could never buy that farm, much less eat that produce it still had the fertilizer on it. I don't see how anyone could expect me to beleive I'd chosen to be screwed over by my brother. Chosen that...and then I was going to have to "own" my choices and take responsibility (but no blame) for those choices. Bullshit. If I'd "chosen" it, then I was to blame as well. I simply don't understand that "New Age" way of thinking at all. Tell me, please, that's a screwed up verison of karma! It's gotta be! At any rate, I preferred in the end to be allied with the God who suffered with me and now helps me get through the day...and don't think I don't get frustrated and don't ask why(and not always nicely).
Well, I'm pretty fried these past two weeks...very tired, and probably just rambling...more exams and papers due and done with more to come. And I'm still loving it. It's so beautiful this time of year up here. John, I'll bet it's great where you are. I don't think you're too far from where I am ...just a bit further north.

take care my friends, take good care,

Philip

PS> sorry I haven't been around much...just too darned busy (it's about a 50-60 hour work week here and then there's church twice a day...a spiritual boot-camp if you will). I will drop by when I can. Good talking with you all.

_________________________
"By way of trials and sufferings we must purify the divine image in us...for it is by reforging our senses in the furnace of our trials that we free them from defilement and assume our royal dignity. --Abba Philimon

Top
#77939 - 11/13/05 07:28 PM Re: Buddhism Anyone?
AuthenticMe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/05
Posts: 287
Philip,

I, too, have struggled with some explanations of karma that I've heard. If you are interested in a detailed, thorough explanation of karma from a scholastic viewpoint, browse around http://www.world-view.org. Geshe Michael Roach, the first american to receive the equivalent of a doctorate in Tibetan buddhsim, founded http://www.world-view.org, which offers 20 years of what he learned through correspondence courses.

Very generally, karma is the theory that every action (beneficial, harmful, or neutral) plants a seed that ripens into a similar result. When I become angry, for example, I have planted a karmic seed to perceive someone being angry at me in the future. Some karmic seeds ripen in this life time. Most ripen in later lifetimes.

What does that mean for a survivor of CSA? I've struggled with this idea, but I don't think it's a question of blaming myself for the fact that I was abused. I can accept the idea that I did something harmful to someone in a past life that karmically resulted in CSA. When I start to ask "Why me?" it's among the best answers I can come up with.

More importantly, I see karma as a way to teach me to avoid engaging in harmful acts. If I understand that harming others will result in harm to myself, it would be crazy to harm someone else.

I obviously don't have all this straight in my head, but one reasons I was attracted to Buddhism was the idea of karma (which actually has its roots in Indian traditions).

_________________________
I am a Man.

Top
#77940 - 11/18/05 07:39 PM Re: Buddhism Anyone?
The Seeker Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 141
Loc: Ohio, USA
Sometimes, you don't know that you are in danger, or that there will be a price to pay later. Sometimes, you are tricked. Sometimes, you are lonely and scared before the perp arrives, and you think you are being saved...when you are not. There was no real choice in that either.

_________________________
The answers are in me.

Top
#77941 - 11/30/05 11:59 PM Re: Buddhism Anyone?
AuthenticMe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/05
Posts: 287
I agree. As I child, I did not have the awareness to recognize that trust was being broken.

_________________________
I am a Man.

Top
Page 6 of 6 < 1 2 3 4 5 6


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.