Your to good to be hard on yourself, u are a good and caring guy, not just here but your little bros at home. We all make mistakes and we kick ourselves to much, we are not perfect, we say stuff that we didn't mean, or it came out wrong, or say stuff without thinking it's impact on others etc..
Where they are 2 people together we have have these problems and where there are a bunch of people watch out.
They are part of life and we deal with the best way we can.
U handled it like I am glad u did. U stepped up to the plate right of way and said u were sorry. It take a real man inside to admit it and u should be proud, I am.
U learned something here that I had a hard time learning when i was younger, I got smacked around to learn it, but U learned in the safety net of guys that really care and watch out 4 u. Perfect learning environment.
About the stuff u had to deal with, the operation, your uncle having a heart attack etc... U had no control over anyone of them.
I go to church every sunday and I believe in God, people told me how could U after being abused in the bathroom at church, I just do. I find a lot of comfort at church with a different perspective on everything. A lot of stuff have happened to me where poeple told me, how on earth did u survive that crash... they told me I was lucky and I told them an angel was watching over me.