Think it's always good to know you are in a group who know you, it is really weird when I am in a group and for some reason a group of males know someone from their workplace, I subconsciously think, what are their motives, it is a negative response, and one I try to deal with.
I think it is because a male abused me, and I don't fully trust men when I first meet them, I am wary of their motives, why do you like me? It is not me but the little boy inside, truth is we make many mistakes this way by not wanting to get to know these strange men who we meet for the first time, we think, why do you want to know me? It is all part of the hidden psyche we live with, and it can cost us.
If I point to a previous post unknown.
Somebody said, if you went out for a drink, you could drink all night with your mates and never get into the spirit of the night, because you are hypervigilant, you are always waiting for something to happen, you think if the alcohol knocks you off guard someone is going to take advantage of you, it is nonsense but it's an automatic response to the situation you are in.
It can cause a myriad of problems, I have got into some heated arguments because I can take friendship with males as being too personal, and friends put me right on the motives of the person involved who only wants friendship, then I think, why do I think this way???
I can only think it is a primaeval instinct in me, brought on by the past, suppose also I think I am the kid, I am vulnerable, so I retaliate to the perceived assault, I go back to the sorry state I was left to go thru, caused by a man, and sorry you're a man and mess with my boundaries and you get what I feel about men.
Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of great male friends, but maybe they get to know the boundaries, I still distrust men in my psyche, guess I always will, but I grew up with that and I will always live with the mind of an abused kid, but it does work, and most men respect the boundaries, it's just I wish I never had to use them.
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!