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#77168 - 06/23/04 01:18 PM God, where were you?
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
When I was a child, we went to church up until the time I was about 7 or 8. We just simply stopped going after that. I began being sexually abused when I was 12. In my warped view of God at that point, my thinking was that God made everything happen in the world. You know, we heard it all in Sunday School: "God made the flowers. God sends the rain." etc., etc.

I can recall thinking at the time of my sexual abuse that it wasn't right what was happening to me. Why would God allow this to happen to me?

It was much later in life (23) when I finally became a Christian, and of course began to understand the concept of free-will. I can only recall certain fragments of the incidents of abuse that occurred, I guess I've blocked some of them out of my mind.

I don't really know where I'm going with this thread, it's just something that's been on my mind.

_________________________
Eddie

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#77169 - 06/23/04 09:00 PM Re: God, where were you?
TeeJayUU Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/04
Posts: 262
Loc: MidWest
Eddie,

My family was an Easter Christmas Catholics. I NEVER knew God. I never read the Bible. Two years ago I finally came to understand that I was abused. A few months later, I finally met God and opened my heart and soul to him.

Where was He during our abuse? He KNEW about it. I do not know why he chose to do nothing about it at the time. I do know that my new found Christian faith could NEVER have been thins strong without what I went through. I also know (read my closing quote", that God doeas have a purpose for my life. If I can help or save just one other SA victim or bring one other person to Christ or stop one child molester, then I have done what Christ wants me to do.

I plan on taking my pain and suffering to e new level, take some couseling classes some religious classes and I plan on finding THE WAY God wants me to help others!

I wish you all of God's Blessings, and I will Pray for your healing and that you find the right path for you.

PEACE! HOPE! LOVE!

God Bless!

TJ

_________________________
"There is a plan for me, God has a Purpose, I know there is a reason that I'm ALIVE!" Cherish Grace
PEACE HOPE LOVE

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#77170 - 06/24/04 12:55 AM Re: God, where were you?
Pollyanna Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/03
Posts: 211
Loc: Missouri
Hey TJ...we went to the same church and learned the same stuff! I'm elsewhere too now, and I KNOW my Father.

Why did He allow these things to happen? I don't think we will really know why any bad thing happens until we get 'home' and see the bigger picture. For now, what makes a difference, since we can't change what happened, is what we DO with it.

Most guys here are already DOING great and wonderful things by supporting each other. Of course it would be better if it wasn't necessary, but because of other people's agency, it is. They will not get away with any of it. "You can choose your action, but you can NOT choose your consequence".

You guys are doing a lot of things right. I have seen more compassion and genuine 'stop at nothing' helpfulness here than anywhere else in my life.

God DOES have a plan for each of us. I believe we knew of it before we were ever born, and still agreed to it, because we knew, as He knew, that with Him by our side, we could do it, AND make something good out of it.

What was Father doing while you were being abused? I'm sure He was crying. Wanting to hold you. He will.

Hugs,
Lynn

_________________________
"Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up."

Anne Lamott

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#77171 - 06/24/04 01:51 AM Re: God, where were you?
joseph7 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 02/02/03
Posts: 18
Eddie:

I wish I had the answer too - why did He allow this to happen to us? I believe we won't really know the answer until after this life ends (the "bigger picture", right Pollyanna?).

I find comfort in the thought that this earthly life is only the beginning. The best is yet to come. We are loved.

Joseph


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#77172 - 06/24/04 02:17 AM Re: God, where were you?
parttimecop Offline
Member

Registered: 03/05/04
Posts: 139
The book "where is God when it hurts" has some good answers for this question. Also extensively quoted in the above book is CS Lewis. He is a good one to look through when you are searching such questions.

I have asked myself the question, Why God? All I know is that I would not be where I am if it had not happened. I would not be meeting the people I meet and making whatever differences I can in their life. The abuse is one of the things that has put me here and now where God wants me to be.

One thing I do know is Jesus said that it is better to have a millstone tied around your neck and be tossed into the sea than to cause a little one to sin. SO we know where abusers are going if they do not repent and grab hold of Jesus. To me that is an awful fearful fact to face, that they too might be saved. But if I have to accept God's grace and know I cannot do anything to save myself. Then I have to accept the fact that even the worst of sinners can be saved through that same grace. Because lets face it, I have spent my own amount of time in wretchedness nailing Jesus to that cross.


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#77173 - 06/25/04 12:54 AM Re: God, where were you?
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Thank you all very much for these thoughts on this. It helps a lot.

Quote:
Originally posted by Pollyanna:
What was Father doing while you were being abused? I'm sure He was crying. Wanting to hold you. He will.

Hugs,
Lynn
Lynn - Thanks especially for the above thought. I've committed it to memory now.

Peace,

_________________________
Eddie

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#77174 - 07/15/04 03:31 PM Re: God, where were you?
Aden Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/04
Posts: 499
my whole heart was given to god. He let me live this life. His will be done. but I am getting old and still don't know His will. Perhaps to leave this world not knowing. I suppose it is not my right to know. My duty is to live according to the will of God. what God, whose god, and where is he hiding, aren't questions that I get answers to.All I get to do is live and die by the blind will of that which doesn't seem to care.


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#77175 - 07/15/04 07:49 PM Re: God, where were you?
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Many times I've asked this question, and not just in my case of abuse. If God is all-knowing and all-powerful, if He is indeed a God of eternal love, why does He allow Evil into the world? Why does He allow people to be killed.

History is so full of situations where God could step in and stop them, but didn't. The Holocaust, the genocide of the Khmer Rouge, the Muslims and Croats of Yugoslavia, so many. And each of us, we carry our own story of suffering that we ask why God didn't stop it. Why?

I have no easy answer save this: we approach the idea that He caused these things. That He allowed them to come to fruition, well, that's question that can only be answered by His plan. Those who believe in a literalist interpretation of the Bible or the Koran should well ask themselves why God would allow people to be born when they're already committed to the fires of Hell. He may know our fate, but He can push us to make the right decisions to avoid it. That we put ourselves in it is, in the end, our decision.

But He never abandoned us. Nor did he cause our pain. I believe that there is Evil, big "E" in the world, and that is acting contrary to the will of God, to make us question Him, to make us make the wrong decisions and separate ourselves from Him. In short, to make us condemn ourselves to Hell.

Easy enough to do, too. We've been through so much, seen so much pain and evil, that we can harden our hearts to God's gentle whisper to do right, to be guided by His will. But He was there.

He didn't cause us to be hurt, but He has given us EVERY opportunity to be well and to follow Him to the path of peace and redemption. Think of this: WE SURVIVED. We survived and we are seeking to men ourselves. We WILL do it, too, by our strength and His love and grace.

So many people fall to Evil and bitterness because they reject love and grace. I nearly did so many times, especially since I may be gay, and according to some VERY small-minded people, I am damned because of it. The truth is that I SURVIVED and I strive to heal and help other because of HIM. Pride would say I'm doing it by myself, and there is some truth to that. I make my decisions, I seek HIM out. I seek out help and I fight for hope every single day I live. But He guides me to MAKE these decisions. He points out what is right and makes me aware of that right. He shows me that there are people who need me and love me and that gives me the strength to carry on.

The Biblical quote holds the ultimate truth for me: The Lord is my Light and my Salvation. He is the hub, alongside the spirit of my mother, that reminds me of why I survived. What I have yet to do and will do.

Where was God when I was abused? He was holding me. He helped me to live and to see beyond the pain.

Where was God when we all were hurt? He was there, saving our lives, weeping with us, being outraged with us, helping us live and achieve peace and purpose.

I truly believe this.

Peace and love,

Scot

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#77176 - 07/15/04 11:23 PM Re: God, where were you?
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
I apologize to all for what was here.
Just feeling a little too low that night.

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#77177 - 07/19/04 05:42 PM Re: God, where were you?
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Just how much evil there is in the World, seems to bulge at the seams.

I do think there is a god, maybe that's why we are all here to tell our stories, I went to church more than once a day after this happened, to ask god for guidance.

We are all given the rules, some we break, some we don't, some break all the rules, and live to regret it, alas, some get away by breaking all the rules, or do they?

The question is there, the answer is not so clear, but when we live on this planet, surely it was meant to be walked, not b y the savages, who abuse, kill and seek revenge, those who rule by the gun, the greedy ones who think only of themselves, pushing, shoving and abusing.

I think it is the one's who make life better by being the listener, the giver, the one who understands, that is surely what god wants from us, that is the only way forward for us.

Not giving a religious sermon here, but my faith definitely helped me thru all this shit

take care

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#77178 - 07/26/04 02:19 PM Re: God, where were you?
FlyWM Offline
Member

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Michigan
Why did God let this happen? I don't think we will ever know, and he didn't give the "green light" for it to happen, he just was bound by his own rule to not interfere with FREE WILL, that pesky thing. I think he cried when it happened, and he held our sould while it happened and after it happened and was trying to be the supportive and loving father. He didn't stop it, but failure to act does not mean he let it happen, he just respected his creation in man of free will, even when that will was evil and terrible.

I think in part we are who we are today because of what was done to us, and perhaps this happening to us was part of the "deal" we made with God when we were given our "mission." Maybe we wouldn't be able to fulfill our purpose without this happening to us, I know if this hadn't happened to us we wouldn't all be supporting one another and we probably wouldn't be as empathetic as we are.

Did God stop it? No, but did he just stand by and let it happen? No. He was there with us while we were abused, he was taking care of us and holding us in his arms as we endured the terrible acts of those sickos. He didn't stop it, but he didn't just stand by either, he held us and comforted us, at least he held and comforted our souls.

Peace be with you,
scott

_________________________
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible in not a declaration, it's a dare.

--Adidas

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