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#77043 - 02/13/04 01:04 AM Celebacy and Surviving
subdeacon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 83
Loc: Florida
Greetings in Christ!

Last year, I was accepted into Holy Orders in the Orthodox Church. I was made a SubDeacon. I had to make the choice then whether I would be celebate for the rest of my life or wait for ordination and get married. I had strong indicators (answered prayers, etc) that led me to believe that God wanted me to be in the unmarried state, so I accepted ordination. However, there are times that I wonder if my abuse as a child led me to this path as well. I had been celebate already for 10 years before being ordained (longer than I had been an Orthodox Christian). I understand the normal desires that people get, and I understand that the human eros can be transfigured and transferred into the Divine Eros. I find myself now, new to the Survivors world, since I hid for so many years, how can I say this, I find myself wondering how I can have a healthy attitude toward my own sexuality, nurture healing, and remain a celebate. I truly believe God wants this for me. I'm just afraid, I'm not up to the task. I know one should put their trus in the Lord and with Him all things are possible. Well, I know it in my intellect, but I'm having a hard time putting that into my heart. I distrust myself so much. I'm not sure where this is going. I did note that one of the board members is a monk. Perhaps he can help me sort some of this out.

By the way, I loved that St. Dymphna is praying for us. I wonder if there are any Orthodox icons of her?

In XC,
Philip

_________________________
"By way of trials and sufferings we must purify the divine image in us...for it is by reforging our senses in the furnace of our trials that we free them from defilement and assume our royal dignity. --Abba Philimon

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#77044 - 02/13/04 01:39 AM Re: Celebacy and Surviving
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Welcome Philip,

It was nice chatting with you tonight.

I'm sorry that you had the need to find us, but am certainly glad that you did.

I have learned a lot about myself here at MS. I hope the same will hold true for yourself.

God Bless,
Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#77045 - 02/13/04 09:33 AM Re: Celebacy and Surviving
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Philip I echo Bill's welcome.

We have a saying AA, of which I am a charter member, "LET GO AND LET GOD"

You are a caregiver as so many of us who suffered under the evil of SA. It is something not one of us ever deserved and it was never our fault.

I have found over the years that you cannot help everyone because there are some who do not want to be helped. When that happened to me before I felt useless and helpless and then I would spiral down.

You say

Quote:
I had strong indicators (answered prayers, etc) that led me to believe that God wanted me to be in the unmarried state, so I accepted ordination. However, there are times that I wonder if my abuse as a child led me to this path as well.
Only you can answer that Philip and you will find the answer deep within.

For the moment join us, post, read and lend your shoulder when needed. You have just joined the greatest bunch of guys it has been my privilege to know.

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#77046 - 02/13/04 11:42 AM Re: Celebacy and Surviving
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Philip,

I hope that this place will be asa helpful for you as it has been for me.
Quote:
I find myself wondering how I can have a healthy attitude toward my own sexuality, nurture healing, and remain a celebate.
That sounds familiar to me, and maybe to some of the other men here. To rephrase it slightly for my own case, it would read, "How can I have a healthy attitude toward my own sexuality, nurture healing, and practice living the life I choose?"

So far I don't have any real good answers for that. It seems the "practice" part is a key, but it might not be the only one.
Quote:
I loved that St. Dymphna is praying for us. I wonder if there are any Orthodox icons of her?
I didn't see any references to iconography at orthodoxireland.com, but her feast is listed on the calendar there.

It's such a bittersweet thing to see someone post here. I'm glad you're able to speak up like this, but I hate the fact that someone gave you a reason to need this.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#77047 - 02/13/04 06:59 PM Re: Celebacy and Surviving
subdeacon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/12/04
Posts: 83
Loc: Florida
Thank you gentlemen...or should that be gentle men? I look forward to more discussion. It's funny how little things can be so revealing. I always misspell celibate as celebate and celibacy as celebacy. Perhaps I keep meaning to write celebrate! I think when we can truly accept God's will and Grace, then we begin to find our peace. Thanks again. I know the orthodox Ireland site well. Thanks. I know people who know the web master there. It's a small world. St. Dymphna pray for us all.

Peace and God bless all today.

_________________________
"By way of trials and sufferings we must purify the divine image in us...for it is by reforging our senses in the furnace of our trials that we free them from defilement and assume our royal dignity. --Abba Philimon

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