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#76964 - 07/20/03 11:27 AM How has it helped you?
lauraanimal Offline
Member

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 58
Loc: montana
Hi all,
with all the hurt and pain we all have recieved from our many abusers, i was wondering how your spirituality has "HELPED" you in your healing? what has it helped you over come? what things or verses helped you out the most? I would like to hear your thoughts and ideas about this.

Laura

_________________________
always be true to your self and your heart.
dont forget to love yourself 1st, then the restwill fall into place.

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#76965 - 07/20/03 09:19 PM Re: How has it helped you?
martin Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 229
Loc: The Good Earth
Hi Laura,

Over the past year or so, and much more intensively in the last couple of months I have been getting into bhuddism and meditation.

The thing it has helped me realize more fully is our commonality. To feel more as one with all people. I realize that everyone one has pain, whether it is from SA, cancer, alcoholism, greediness, or a host of other things.

So I guess the short answer is it has helped me feel more oneness with everyone else.

Peace,
Aaron

_________________________
Its times like these we learn to live again,
Its times like these we give & give again,
Its times like these we learn to love again,
Its times like these time & time again.
-The Foo Fighters

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#76966 - 08/20/03 06:23 PM Re: How has it helped you?
mrsunshineguy Offline
Member

Registered: 07/13/02
Posts: 67
Loc: Texas
Hi Laura,

Sorry for a slow response on this thread. I guess I probably have way too much to respond on this first pass.

Are you asking:

For yourself; or
Someone else; or

General info?

Not that it directly matters, but it could help me taper the info a little, if you are still working on this.

But for a too quick answer to your: "i was wondering how your spirituality has "HELPED" you in your healing?" Looking back it pulled the real freight and work every step of the way. Good thing, too. I really sort of wanted to slack my way past this at the start.

See you,

Sunshine


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#76967 - 08/21/03 11:45 AM Re: How has it helped you?
integrator Offline
Member

Registered: 07/05/02
Posts: 107
Loc: New York
Laura and my fellow survivors,

While I also have found my own efforts to be fundamental to my survival, I have found that my appreciation for the availability of empowering and healthy techniques and perspectives to be very spiritual.
The Twelve Step groups, in particular one dealing with healing relationships from excess codependency, allowed me to begin to educate myself and involve myself in a process that gave me structure and direction. I have also taken workshops in shamanism, yoga, martial arts, shiatsu, gone hiking, sat in zen meditation, and read all sorts of self-help material.
The Twelve steps themselves, however, are special. By the time my recollection of abuse emerged as part of the therapeutic process in those groups, I learned that there were in fact groups that specifically addressed sexual abuse and sex and love addiction.
Spiritually, their 2nd step goes, "We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." Other steps also address this relationship, and the Serenity Prayer also is a mainstay of their program.
My experience has included events like a dream that helped give me direction as a memory flooded me with repressed material: emotions especially.
I experienced support such that I was able to let go of judgments and follow my inclinations as I coped with the instability of being in that condition. My ability to find work that was in keeping with my tortured psychological state, doing more manually oriented work.
Reading material like Louise Hay, who survived abuse herself, and teaches the use of positive affirmations for a person to open themself to the safety, direction, and guidance of the Divine.
Christian Science also proved helpful in this, and many others. All these have offered particular strengths to give me encouragement, to introduce me and deepen my valuing of gratitude, forgiveness, emotional honesty, managing controlling tendencies and letting go of them when appropriate, and deserving the best in life.
That gives you an idea, anyway.
Best of luck, blessings, for your health, happiness and prosperity, and stay well and strong.


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#76968 - 08/26/03 08:20 AM Re: How has it helped you?
zadok1 Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/02
Posts: 188
Loc: Ohio
How has faith helped me? More than any drug or therapist, faith has brought me peace and healing. One aspect of it is that there is an ultimate justice, and that those evil things done on earth will one day return to a person. The responsibility of pursuing justice is taken from me, so I no longer have to carry that around. If my abuser is ultimately an evil person, he will get his just reward.

Another aspect is the peace of mind that comes from my personal relationship with God. Even in troubled times, I know I am protected and loved. For example, when I lost my last job, I knew my time there was done, and that there was a better one waiting ahead of me. I was able to leave without remorse or fear. My life is no longer totally mine to control or live. I have a higher purpose, a destiny.

Finally, I have structure to my life now. The Bible gives me clear instructions on how to live. If a person lets it, the Word covers everything from eating to handling money, to marriage and sex. It provided a clear outline of how a person should live, and set goals and boundaries for me. Though I will continually mess up, I have an ideal plain to aim for.

Out of such a vast store of wisdom it is hard to choose a favorite verse. It is more a complete picture of the whole that comforts and inspires me. From the fact that God formed me for His pleasure, because He wanted a child to cherish and care for, to knowing He will never leave or forsake me. I have gotten to where I donít like the word faith very much, because it implies doubt. My relationship with God leaves no room for doubt. Once He has come into your life on the scale He has in mine, there is no room left for doubt. It is an ultimate reality that I am chosen, that I am loved and protected, and nothing is impossible when I am working in His will.

There is a price to pay though. I have had to turn my back on the concept of living for my self. He has to be first in everything, or else all the promises become void. If I make a god out of any worldly thing, I will get hit with troubles, and the more I insist and harden my heart, the rougher things get. Only when I completely submit, and allow Him to lead do I get the gifts. This is a hard thing to do, especially in the midst of a trial like loosing your job. It is easy to sit down and cry and throw a fit, but that only extends the time until you realize who is in control, and things are set right again.

Ignorance is bliss, the less a person knows or chooses to know, the less you are accountable for, but the less reward you are due. I am indeed blessed, and everything I touch is blessed. I have my moments, but as a whole, I have no doubt where the credit belongs. Praise, God Almighty, the keeper of the stars and seas, for all i have and am.

Jeff

_________________________
The world is a dangerous place, not because of those that are evil, but because of those who do nothing about them- Albert Einstein

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#76969 - 08/30/03 09:01 AM Re: How has it helped you?
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
Hello Laura. It is most good to see you returned here. I have faith, I believe strong of God. I have read the Bible, although I am not one to remember words and verses. But I do know that it has helped me, and a specific thing, maybe it is vision or angel, I do not know what, but it saved me recently of giving up on life. I do not know that I can speak freely of it yet, it still feels most personal, but I strong believe it was sign of God, and I do find more strength of it. Thank you, and again, is good to see you.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#76970 - 08/31/03 02:53 PM Re: How has it helped you?
seeker Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 7
Hi Laura,

Thanks initiating some wonderful responses. I feel encouraged. I find that my belief that God cares for me and wants me to be whole is what I hold onto in times of uncertainty. I am involved in a SA survivor's educational group, that is secular. It has been very helpful in my journey. But the love and care of other Christians in my life is something I've found no where else.

I feel very lucky that I have some close friends that my share beliefs, that God did give us his instruction manual in the Bible. Those friends have loved me and supported me in so many ways. I believe that God is working in all of us, to heal us and make us whole. My belief in the eternal is what keeps me grounded in today. I certainly don't pretent to really understand it all, but I know in my heart that there is much more to this life than what we see.

blessings to you,

seeker

_________________________
"Perhaps the truth depends on a walk around a lake" - Wallace Stevens

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#76971 - 09/01/03 01:23 PM Re: How has it helped you?
nofxhere Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/01/03
Posts: 1
My faith is the one thing that has kept me going, the thing that has kept me alive.

It's a lot to deal with, suffering in the light of a loving God, but I trust God, fully.


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#76972 - 09/19/03 01:37 PM Re: How has it helped you?
DannyT Offline
Member

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 402
Hi Everyone--

I've found Zen style Buddhism perfect for me. And the effects of all the meditation have been really remarkable. After a while the sense of inner peace is so fulfilling that most other issues begin to seem somewhat irrelevant. I've come to terms with my internal monologue (which used to be so dangerous to me) and now there's very little in my daily thinking that I don't enjoy (much of it is simply silence).

I also enjoy the sense of responsibility Zen gives for growth. THe idea that I am responsible for my own spiritual development allows me to disengage with ideas of blame and connections to others that have been painful. The idea of ego-less letting go is powerful in this sense. So many of us hold on to our abuse, and the idea of simply letting go of the pain and blame has been quite helpful.

Danny


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