My heart breaks for you as a child in that boarding school that held such hopes & dreams for you, and for you as an adult as you bravely & capably thru the pain put back together the pieces
of your shattered dreams & form a real life for yourself, with your wonderful wife.
It sounds as tho you may have gone to boarding school to leave a somewhat secluded or lonely home environment?
Mine was a wide-open, big-town to big-city upbringing, still secluded & definitely lonely in many ways, but certainly with much exposure to the world out there, which we were right in really
My SA ended
when I was put into a home for
orphans & broken home children at age 12, my last
overt SA having occured at age 11, driving me into
rebellion & trouble.
To my confused feelings & thots at the time, being
put in the home was the nightmare, not being taken out of my abusive family home.
And I wasn't even sexually abused there! Some physical, verbal & emotional abuse, yes, but nothing like I had suffered with my mother.
Still it was in the children's home that I seemed to lose what heroes & hopes I'd once had, as unrealistic & even unhealthy as they sometimes were.
My childhood heroes were mostly comic book superheroes & my hope was to become one of them,
beat up all my known enemies & unknown demons, and
be a hero to the world.
I pretty much gave up after I was put in the home, actually after the rape at age 11 that led to being put there. I tried to retain the superheroes & the hopes that went with them, even tried to pick up new heroes like football players & wrestlers, but nothing stuck. I'da been happy just to fly away & disappear.
Yet here I am, years later, almost
as old as you are, Dave
; and here we in wolf country
surviving & sometimes even thriving. Bro, it makes
May we never lose our heroes & hopes. There are plenty of them right here!