Newest Members
GoodKiwi, Naeno, stillhere35, RKS, Albertus
12557 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
2dayistheday (34), 4LaurenAline2 (48), akn (61), barrington (65), Gideonfl (52), James Michael (57), Obi (44), tu (46), Vedder32 (34), yoga_mom (46)
Who's Online
4 registered (GT13568, WontGiveUp, NoSimpleMachine, 1 invisible), 19 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12557 Members
73 Forums
64448 Topics
450156 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#76398 - 11/02/00 03:38 PM would like a friend that understands
wert Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/02/00
Posts: 21
Loc: Ut
I am so glad that I found this website. At least I know now that I am not the only one out there. I feel in my case that my story is a little different than most stories.
I was involved in a sexual experience with my older brother. I was never forced to do anything. I did it out of my own free will. Mind you I was about 6 to 7 years old. I still remember the sights, sounds, smells, and feelings. These things have haunted me eversince that time. It happend more than once and sometimes I would initiate it. I feel guilty and ashamed. In some sense I feel like I am a homosexual. No offense but I was brought up in a good Christian home where I was taught that this was against the laws of God. I still believe those values but sometimes it gets so hard. My brother and I are friends and as far as I can tell I have no hatred for him. I have wired thoughts that I am trying to control and even my dreams are wild but I can't control those. I am getting the help I need (thank goodness) but I also would like to hear from any of you who might have been or are in the same situation. I just want a friend who really understands. I have friends who know everything and are trying to understand but they just can't and they admit to that. I just want a friend.


Top
#76399 - 11/03/00 04:56 AM Re: would like a friend that understands
Neil Offline
Member

Registered: 10/17/00
Posts: 81
Loc: Millersville, MD, USA
Wert, I just responded to your reply to abcd in the other section. I too sought out my abuser on many occasions but I still consider what happened to me abuse. He had taken advantage of my innocence. I was young and unknowing. A young boy should not be taught such adult things at that young of an age. I don't know how much older your brother is than you but he should not have taken advantage of you that way. I too felt responsible for what happened to me for many years. Not until I began my recovery did I realize that I was not responsible at all. I WAS ABUSED. I also questioned my sexuality for years. I think all men go through some of that but it can be much worse for survivors especially if they were abused by another male. I was raised in a strict religious home so having those thoughts seemed so wrong. I felt dirty and ashamed. I learned through counseling that these are very normal feelings. I will be praying for your healing. If you would like to e-mail me directly here's the address: somdcatman@aol.com Neil


Top


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.