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#76391 - 01/20/07 02:47 AM My Pastor died yesterday, I feel nothing!
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
My Pastor/ best friend died yesterday, and I feel no grief, what the hell is wrong with me! I have known him for eight years.

When my Dad died it took me over six months to feel grief.

Take care,
Clifford

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#76392 - 01/20/07 03:51 AM Re: My Pastor died yesterday, I feel nothing!
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Clifford, grief has no timetable. We react differently for each individual. You will see soon enough.

froggy

_________________________
??

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#76393 - 01/20/07 04:29 AM Re: My Pastor died yesterday, I feel nothing!
TeeJayUU Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/30/04
Posts: 262
Loc: MidWest
Clifford,

I agree with Froggy. Also remember that no two "griefs" can ever be the same.

I will say Prayers for you, your Pastor and best friend, and his family.

I am so very sorry for your loss. We have all lost too much already.

TJ

_________________________
"There is a plan for me, God has a Purpose, I know there is a reason that I'm ALIVE!" Cherish Grace
PEACE HOPE LOVE

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#76394 - 01/20/07 03:20 PM Re: My Pastor died yesterday, I feel nothing!
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Clifford,

There is no "right" response to grief. Some people just go on auto pilot and continue on with their lives, refusing to allow the feeling because it's just too much bear. Sooner or later, something happens to bring the loss to the forefront of the brain and we grieve. Sometimes it's an event that means nothing to anyone except you. Sometimes, it's just a quiet thought in your own head.

Don't fret over this. You're OK.

ROCK ON........Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#139300 - 01/27/07 10:08 PM Re: My Pastor died yesterday, I feel nothing! [Re: Trish4850]
Derdlecar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/08/05
Posts: 1314
Loc: Ogden Utah, USA
Clifford,

Don't worry about the fact that your reaction to this loss is not what you may think that it should be. Your reaction to what happened is what it is and there is nothing that needs to be done about it because it is the right reaction for you at this time.

Hang in there, the reaction you think you should have will happen when the time is right for you.

Love ya
Darrel

_________________________
If a man would get his life on track, he must first go back to the place where it was derailed.

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#139337 - 01/28/07 08:14 AM Re: My Pastor died yesterday, I feel nothing! [Re: Derdlecar]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
when my mom died i felt nothing...just like she never existed steve


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#139440 - 01/29/07 05:36 PM Re: My Pastor died yesterday, I feel nothing! [Re: sabata]
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Clifford,

My condolences on the loss of your Pastor friend. That's quite a combination...maybe you're in shock. I've known several pastors and I've had a friend or two but I don't think that I've ever lost a friend who was a pastor.
Give yourself some time and whatever you do, don't beat yourself up for not feeling what you think that you should be feeling. Too many of us give ourselves a bad time for not feeling this or that at the appropriate time. I think that some of us have such a complicated response to grief and sadness. In some cases, we haven't worked out the sadness and grief of the loss of our own lives, let alone handling the grief that comes at us from the outside.
Peace, Clifford, he sounds like he must have been a good friend. Like the others have said before me, it will take some time. As someone said today, loss comes to us in bits and pieces.
David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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