Again I was in my closet
Dresses hanging down
Door open...it never closed
Small circles in the wood
Smell of shoes
He would come
He would come again

Grab the handle, Bobby
Which one will you chppse?

I will choose the big one.

Swing the red handle.
Swing it wide
Heavy....good
It will hurt to swing.

What will you have us say?

Say, "He is coming. It's all right to be afraid."

Chanting now the words
Speaking
Shouting
Now I feel the anger welling up inside
Swing the handle
Heavier than I thought
Swing the handle
Slow motion as it goes
"Whap" against the bag hanging in the center of the room
"Whap" again
On they shout

I see him
I see him coming
I feel his presence
This time I will fight

"Whap"
This time he will not take me
"Whap"
No! No! No!
You will not do those things to me
"Whap"
His hands now on my tiny harms
His strong hands on my tiny arms
But I am strong now
Pulling angrily away
No! No! No!
You will not do those things to me
"Whap"
Crying out
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you
I hate you

Screaming now
Arms so tired
Drop the handle
Glasses fly
So tired
Exhausted
No, not stopping yet
Never stop
"Whap"

Now I know
Now I know
Didn't win
Didn't take me
Still they chant

Stand and breathe
Try to breathe
Handle in my hand
He didn't take me

Doubts will come again
Doubts will come
But once again I knew
Once again I knew he came for me
Once again I knew the things he did
Once again I knew the man he was

And, Oh, how I cried
And, Oh, how I hated
But most of all.........I knew

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.