Okay, let me introduce myself.

I am a survivor of covert incest. My mother turned me into her surrogate husband because my father was always working and didn't give her any attention. I spent my entire childhood as my mother's confidant, having to listen to her problems on a daily basis. Since my parents had such poor communication skills, I was designated as their "messenger boy" who had to shuttle messages between them. How I wanted to escape all those years, but I was too weak. My mother was a vampire who sucked all the blood out of me, smothering me with her so-called "love," leaving me in such a state that I felt powerless to do anything. And worst of all, I had no one to turn to. I was completely alone, isolated. Instead of having my emotional needs met, I was forced to take care of hers. And as if that weren't enough, she had a subconscious tendency to become sexually suggestive with me, despite her aversion for sex. I never had any privacy getting dressed while growing up. She often teased me about my body, which became extremely embarrassing and shameful when I hit adolescence. I also remember having to put suntan lotion on her back in public when we would go to the beach. She even revealed parts of her body and intimately kissed me in order to "teach me" about women. Yes, this is all very sickening, but unfortunately true. It took me many years to come to the realization that I indeed was abused. You see, my mind was so warped from living with this woman for 18 years that it took me a long time to distinguish up from down.

When I turned 18, I left Japan where I grew up and came to the United States for college. This was the first time I experienced freedom. As you can imagine, it was liberating. Since then, I have cut all ties with my parents. I really had no other alternative if I was to regain myself. As long as they were present in my life, the abuse would have continued. I had to break this circle of pain.

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CovertIncest.org