Mike, your story is surely one that shows the lengths perpetrators will go to, in order to get what they want.
I guess, that once you reached the age of consent you did not have perps--but you had terribly broken and sick men who liked hurting another human. My heart goes out to you.
My saddness for you is relieved, only when I remember how you mentioned that man in the gym who worked with you, and had you look at yourself and see the progress you have made.
You have made that kind of progress with your spirit as well. You have suffered atrocities, but you can get yourself moving towards wellness, and you can offer help and support to others.
I think you are developing some compassion and understanding to help guys who sold their bodies to be abused. It seems like a person would need to go through that to have some sense of what another man who did that would feel.
So Bro, keep on keeping on! Move to more wellness for yourself, and grow in the confidence that, from that unspeakable tragedy you suffered, you have learned to squeeze something positive out of it--or, maybe not out of it but in sppite of it.
Take care good man!
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.