In a different thread the subject of whether or not we should tell our sons that Dad is a survivor was introduced in conjunction with another topic of equal importance. For the discussion so far see Tbar’s thread “Can’t faith in God be the major factor in healing?” in the Male Survivors forum.
What that thread got me to thinking was this: What is there "out there" for young survivors? Some of you who were here last year may remember the discussion of the books by Mic Hunter and Mike Lew spearheaded by two of our teen members; they thought those books didn't address them and spoke over their heads, so I imagine that our present teen members would feel the same way.
As it happens, one of those former teen members (he's now 15) has thought to deal with this problem already and he has his own recommendations. He’s an avid reader and has digested a LOT of literature on CSA. Here are his recommendations and his comments (in his own words):
1. Geoff Price, Puberty Boy. "This book’s a lifesaver. Cool layout too."
2. Lynda Madaras, What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Boys: a Growing Up Guide for Parents and Sons. "This book is great when you have embarrassing questions and no one to ask."
3. Cynthia L. Mather, How Long Does It Hurt: a Guide to Recovering from Incest and Sexual Abuse for Teenagers, Their Friends, and Their Families. "Great book for teens recovering from SA. The best one out there!"
4. Mavis Jukes, The Guy Book: an Owner's Manual. "Another good book for guys about growing up. Chapter on staying safe."
5. Barbara Bean, The Me Nobody Knows: a Guide for Teen Survivors. "For teen survivors of SA".
6. Deanna S. Pledge. When Something Feels Wrong: a Survival Guide About Abuse for Young People. "A good guide about abuse for young people".
7. Jeremy Daldry, The Teenage Guy's Survival Guide: the Real Deal on Girls, Growing Up and Other Guy Stuff.
8. William S. Pollack, Real Boys' Voices. "Real guys share their thoughts on life".
9. John Nikkah. Our Boys Speak: Adolescent Boys Write About Their Inner Lives. "More real-life stories from teen guys".
I can't vouch for any of these choices myself and most of them are unknown to me, but all are available on Amazon and all have received 4-5 stars in reader reviews.
To teens on the site I would just say that here are the recommendations by a guy your age who is also a survivor. Check out the reviews and see what you think.
For Dads here, well, I think there’s no doubt at all that we do need to make our kids aware of the danger that pedophiles pose and how boys can keep safe. I talked to my own son about sex, abuse and other related issues, but one thing I wish I had done back then (he is now 22) would be to give him something to read. Even in cases where we have really solid relationships with our sons, I think we all know they will sometimes be embarrassed and hesitant to come to us, especially with questions they think they should already be able to answer.
I would just suggest to you what I said to our young brothers: have a look and see what you think. Please let me stress that I'm not suggesting that you go get a book and throw it at your son and that's it. Close and trusting communications on ALL subjects is clearly what a boy really needs; a good book is just a good supplement and something he can refer to as he tries to gather up his courage to bring the tough questions to his father.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)