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#75120 - 10/04/05 11:15 AM Re: wonderful article
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Will,

No one wants to hear that what they bring here may trigger another. I didn't mean any disrespect or wish you any ill will. It's just that we're all "us" here. You know, in any one of those "us and them" statements we hear during our day, we're all "us'es."

It can be a very positive thing for one to have a zeal for his faith, but if it becomes proselytizing, then feelings get hurt.

Thank you for bringing what your church has to say about CSA, it has been an honest exchange.

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#75121 - 10/04/05 12:20 PM Re: wonderful article
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Will,

I should say here that my comments were not meant to be disparaging against you or your religious community. I was trying to speak to the article itself, and also to the question of how religious organizations deal with issues that concern survivors.

As I said, I guess I see things in a more secular way where awareness of SA is concerned. But some PMs back and forth with Don have helped me to look at matters a bit differently. Looking back at the thread, it seems to me that if a religious perspective views SA through "a very thick prism", as I put it, so also, perhaps, does the secular perspective with which I am more comfortable.

In any case, I do not think I said anything disparaging about religious approaches to the problem. Critical, yes, but not disrespectful. If I came across to you in such a way I hope you will accept my apologies for that. I would simply say that, as we find over and over again, the fine nuances that are clear in direct conversation can be totally missed in a text message.

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#75122 - 10/05/05 07:58 PM Re: wonderful article
ForeverFighting Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/09/05
Posts: 1058
Loc: New Mexico, USA
I am also one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I have to say that there are good people and bad people in every religion. But the tree as a whole is the best I've found at clearing out and exposing things such as child abuse. I personally know a couple of men who are Jehovah's Witnesses but who will NEVER serve in any capacity of responsibility, because they were perps. But as First Corinthians 6:11 says, "And that is what some of you were," meaning people can change, they can come and try to benefit themselves, but we don't hand them the keys to our house. And definitely not my house. I chat with them casually when I can stand it, but I'll never be best buds with a former perp. That's between them and God.

The articles Will mentioned have helped me immensely. It was an Awake magazine in 1993 that made me realize my life was not the way it was supposed to be. It started me on this healing path. He pointed out one article. There have been hundreds. They "preach" not to blame ourselves, not to feel like it's our fault, to go see a therapist and get needed medication. They teach that we shouldn't have had to earn love from our parents, that love is something that should come naturally for a child. Then they "preach" hope. What about that isn't something we read (or hope to read) every day on this site?

My parents were Methodist when my dad beat me and my mom did nothing. My uncle was a Presbyterian when he raped me. My grandfather was also Presbyterian, had the job of picking the preacher, while he did who knows what to how many kids. So yeah, I know all about hypocrasy and issues with religion and God. But my wife's dad (who SA all his girls) was kicked out of Jehovah's Witnesses the INSTANT it was found out. I was at the police station and in the church meetings. I saw it happen. They do clean their own house.

I have found friends who care in this organization, who aren't hypocrites, and are used to hearing about CSA because they hear about the dangers and consequences at "church" all the time. So not only did I give Jehovah's Witnesses a break. I joined. They're good people, and as big a support group as I'll ever have in dealing with all my issues. Other people find that help in their own ways, in their own churches, in their own groups, here--whatever. I try not to "preach" here, because I know that's another subject altogether, and I also know that many of us have been SA in the name of religion. I think what Will was getting at is if we haven't found whatever or whoever can help us, that article or organization or whatever we want to get out of it is there as another optional source of help. No pressure--just info. At least that's how I took it.

_________________________
ForeverFighting

"This search for the truth--it's not for the faint of heart."--Goren on 'Law & Order: CI'
"The former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart."--Isaiah 65:17

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