By implication, then, we need to care for our body, protecting it from evil and maintaining its integrity.
This is an absolutley correct statement.
Did you learn the lessons so well that you manifest the character of your abuser in the way you treat your body? Or has fear held you so tightly that you manifest the character of a victim long after the victimizing has stopped?...
In my case I think that both of these statements apply equally. I treated my body in exactly the same manner as they did. I did my damnest to destroy it. I did this through Alcohol, Heroin, Bulimia and Anorexia.
As a hustler I perpetuated the myth of victim, hiding behind the lie of only doing it cause I made money at it. I also continued during my lifetime to physically re-enact the SA. I said I was addicted to the violence and the pain. It just might be possible that I was also looking for the attention that I craved so much as a child. I do not know at this point.
What I do know is that before my SA I had made a temple of my body because it was the only thing that I owned. I joined a Health Club in January and am getting back a reasonable facsimilie of that body; or as close to it as a 62 year old man can to his 16year old body. Yeh it is wrinkled here and there. But the Abs are back and the tone and the size. The body fat is down and the flexibility is up. Am I pleased with it. Yes for the first time in 46 years I definitely am.
The interesting thing is that prior to January I was fighting bulimia and prior to that norexia. They do not exist anymore for me. I am eating healthy and loving it.
So you see the first quote here is dead on. I am caring for my body and protecting it from evil. Not only the shit we all have indulged in but also the evil of serious disease. I am not one to stand on a pulpit but I dont smoke, drink, do drugs, eat salt, or fast foods. My body is back being mine and by god I am going to give it the attention that it deserves.
So you see the second quote is dead on also. I will not continue to be the victim or a facsimilie of the perpetrators. I and me and I am defined by the presense I show the world. I am truly starting to like what I see; both physically and when I look deep into my eyes, which are the windows on the soul.
I am healing and will be whole.
But I did not do it alone or very well until I came to this site in January and listened to the likes of Wuamie, Ksinger, Sickpuppy, Ivanhoe, Jacobt, Seaotter, cyberchild, usel, dougw, Tallsteve, lloyd,marc,don,thedean, and all the rest of you that I cannot remember off the top of my head.
Most of all I learned from one person, little Alan, that love is capable of decades jumps and has no boundaries. And that two people from similar lives but 40years apart can share in lifes experiences. Thank you Alan.
We are the brotherhood of the Wolf and we will not be diverted from the path to living life as it should be.