I bought this book expecting a sensative look at the abuse and effects of abuse as they are related to masculine problems. I'm sorry to say from the forward to the end, this book made me feel like being a man was all it took to be "bad". I hate feeling like being born with a penis starts my score off in the negatives. The forward to this book is basically a femanist finger shaking that says something like:

Good thing you abused men are reading this book so you will stop going on to abuse us women. It's about time you learned that you are causing all the problems in the world because you were born with a penis.

And this overtone seems repeated througout the book. This is SO far from what I was feeling, and set me back on feeling better about my gender. I read it, analyzed it, and threw it away.

Other than the dangerous anti-man bent that can be seen in the book, it also seems too general, shallow, and all-inclusive. As a book to give to men who ARE mistreating women, and have not talked to anyone, this is a good introduction. If you are feeling bad about your gender, not re-enacting or venting your abuse through abuse or violence towards women or children, and already avoid sex or violence because you avoid the "bad" things about being a man, stay away from this book.

Definitely not the type of "self help" books we need in this already screwed up world!!
Society is filled with male bashing and macho stereotypes you see it all over the place.
I wil stay away from this book.
GADZOOK (dave)


[This message has been edited by Gadzook (edited 01-05-2001).]

Thanks for that info. I had thought about buying and reading that book early in my recovery. I decided to get "Victims No Longer" by Mike Lew instead. Sounds like I made the right choice. That could have been a devastating set back in my recovery process. I'm glad you saw the book for what it was and didn't let it get to you too badly. I'm not sure I would have been able to handle it when I began my journey. "VNL" was a very good book and helped me a lot. I still go back and read parts of it on occasion. I just finished "Leaping Upon the Mountains", also by Mike Lew. I would highly recommend it to men in the later stages of recovery. I'll stay away from the book you mentioned. I sure don't want to take a step or two backwards. Thanks.

After looking at it in the book store I bought it, then took it back. I already had books with gereal info. Authors like Mike Lew have given me more help.

Leaping the Mtns. I think is Mike Lew newer book. Victims nolonger was his other one.

Hi,

Yes this book was obviously written with a bias that all men abuse as the result of their abuse.

I wish the members of the NOMSV Board would come forward and comment on this book.

Thanks, I was thinking about picking up that book, but now I'll stay way from it (far away). Many thanks. I think I'll buy "Soul Murder" instead. Any good? Anyone?

Soul Murder sounds good, let me know if you get it.

Hi,
Soul Murder is a good book but it is written for professionals not ordinary people.

However if you read it with the idea that you don't go past a sentence unless you understand it and you look up every word you don't understand you will do just fine.

There is a lot of information in there that will enable you to maybe connect with your past.

Thanks contender, but I think that I can get through it just fine, I've also read other books written for professionals, such as "Betrayed as Boys."
I'm also a bit angered by your automatic assumption that the majority of the men responding to this post are uneducated "dumbies." We are all very intelligent, well-read and some of us are even 'educated,' so please don't just make a hasty generalization.

imp

[ December 28, 2001: Message edited by: impishwit ]