My wife & I just rented & watched a movie I've been wanting to see since it was out--"Time Machine." Time travel & sci-fi in general fascinate me.

In the movie this guy, on the verge of unlocking the door to time travel, proposes to his girl in Central Park, where she is then killed in an armed robbery.

Over the next six years he works obsessively to crack the time travel code, never leaving his house or seeing anyone. Finally he figures it out.

So he builds a time machine & travels into the past just before the murder. He takes her into the city to propose, away from the park. She is hit by a car and killed.

To try to figure out why he can't change the past, & maybe becuz he just can't stand the present anymore, he travels into the future, further & further ahead.

Without spoiling the ending I'll just say that in the future he finally found what he was looking for.

Most of my life I've spent trying to change the past. Not by going back, but by acting in/out or numbing out, denial, suppression, dissociation, trying to erase the past, push it away, but it wouldn't go away.

Since I started into recovery I've been doing less
of that, but instead have kinda locked myself in the room of recovery, which I've worked obsessively most of the time. Trying to find the way into the past to change it that way. Still not working.

So what I want to try to do now is just know that I can find what I really want & need not in the past but the future, and then move toward that future. Not with a time machine, but just one day at a time. Not trying to bypass the present, but living in the present moment, which is all I really have or need anyway.

Victor

Victor,

It is an excellent thought, one that I need to embrace as well. I tend to be a sort of sentimental person, listening to old music that made me feel good as a kid, yet also trapped in the belief that the sad and abusive parts of the past still define me. That too is loosening, with new insights, and most importantly from the increasing love and safety my inner child is getting. This frees up energy for me, and as that happens, the future looks much brighter.

Rick

Victor:
Thanks for your excellent application of the movie to your personal experience. It makes me think about how I've tried to go back and deal with the past in ways that yield little success. I like how you expressed your thoughts about the future, about wanting to find the things that you really and need not by looking to the past but in the future. Also how you not want to bypass the present, but live in the present, looking forward to a brighter future. How much time have I wasted? Sometimes I feel that I wasted my life in the present by either regretting the past, and/or dreading the future. Thanks, Victor. Good one, Man! Sincerely, Jess.

Thanks guys. Glad this movie gives us something to think about. Sci fi tends to inspire me. The idea of time travel still fascinates me. Having a time machine & being able to see how the world was or will be would be awesome.

But change anything? No. Even if I could do it without making things worse, it's not my place.
My place is where I am.

Time to get out of my mental time machine and live in the present moment. It's all I've got anyway.

But I can still have fun imagining time travel with Little Victor.
[img]http://www.click-smilie.de/sammlung/alles_moegliche/allesmoegliche014[/img]
So when are we gonna go to now, kid?!...

Victor