Hi. This is my first post, so I hope you find my words relevant and helpful.

I just watched the movie L.I.E., which stands for Long Island Express. It was a very difficult movie, as it portrays teen boys having sex with men. I think we were supposed to thing it was OK because they were gay. "A coming of age story ...." blah, blah, blah.

As a survivor, I viewed it differently than my "normal" roommate. We couldn't even discuss it, as we just couldn't find any common ground.

Anyhow, I'm babbling. Please, just be ready if you choose to watch it. I wasn't, and it's been a rough week since seeing it.

welcome OldTrafford,
Your words are relevant and helpful. I'm sorry it was so difficult to watch then getting no understanding. I have my own thoughts about the age gap that you describe. I suspect it is consistant with yours. Thanks

Welcome to MS Old Trafford, and thanks for sharing that warning note with us about the movie L.I.E. As to the content of this movie, it seems to me the title itself is very telling...

Victor

L.I.E is a tough movie to watch, but a very good one. It probably is the most realistic portrayal of how many sexual abusers seduce their victims. Those who were seduced by their abusers who see the film will have their own versions of seduction, whether it is similar or different. Those personally unfamiliar with sexual abuse (or sexual abuse in the seduction/meeting needs/manipulation form that many abusers use) may get an education of how insidious this seduction can be.

It is a powerful film and may be pretty triggering. I wonder if it would be best seen with a group of survivors or a few hours before a scheduled session with one's therapist.

Ken

Good points Ken--all of them.

Becuz that way we are watching it for what it is--seduction by perps and not, in Old Trafford's words, some kind of "a coming of age story."

Victor

Ken in particular, but also the readership at large:

For those who were 'seduced', like myself, would it serve any theraputic purpose for me to see the film?

This is meant to be more of a retorical question on the whole subject... seduction and the consequences to the victims of such abuse.

jer

Hi Jer:
It might have some benefit for you. Ask your therapist to see it first, assuming s/he knows the details of your abuse, including the seduction factors. If your therapist doesn't want to do it, or you don't have a therapist, maybe someone close to you who knows of your situation to see it with you. With a video rental you can always shut it off. However, I'd give a strong recommendation for the first option here.
Ken

I watched the video last night. I found it a depressing account of how insideous (?SP) a predatory perpetrator works and how he identifies with his victims before he devours them.

Given that, I thought it was an excellent movie for what it was. The film did not judge, it left that to the viewer. Thierin lies the difficulty. Non survivors are not directed to see what could be seen as benign as really being treacherous.

I think someone who was not an SA survivor would need to have the manipulations pointed out to them.

It could look like the victim was making his own choices, but the choices were made out of survival mode, so they were not freely made choices. The choices were live in shame or, maybe even... die.

I can also see where a fellow survivor who is still filled with self doubts and self loathing could mistakenly believe his, and the character in the movie's, choices were freely made.

I say that because there was a time as a child and then as an adult where I believed I brought it all on myself. The child in me will always believe it was my fault, and the adult in me will always have to show him the truth..

In the movie, the character does a dance on a tightrope with suicide. The topic of suicide is presented as a kind of mirror response to SA. My personal experience, left me wondering if dying might not have been a better choice. I know now that choosing death is against human nature, but now I understand my choices that I was left with, better, and I can see the limited lifeskills all children have. This is why the trauma is so devastating.. I chose to survive then, and now, and today I also choose to thrive.

My mother chose to devour her own son to fulfill her sexual needs. She didn't do it for what was best for me as she would have me believe.

Another movie that looked at abuse through the eyes of a child but this time through the eyes of a 5 year old was THE REFLECTING SKIN (1990). That movie was depressing also, but I think it was a masterpiece too. The film was more abstract and the imiges/flashbacks were kaleidoscopic unlike the movie L.I.E.

http://www.filethirteen.com/reviews/reflectingskin/reflectingskin.htm

caution both these films are very stimulating and I would recomend debriefing with supportive people.